Yeah no more Decemberists.

Sorry everybody. I don't like The Decemberists. Do not talk to me about the Decemberists because I do not care and I do not like them.

Today has been another damn good day. I like today.

Dangit

I cut my thumb while shaving.

The Decemberists

I like their music whenever the guy is not singing. When he starts singing, a part of me wants to turn off the music. I hope I just get used to it. I guess a lot of their music is about the lyrics. I don't really listen to music for the lyrics. I like music to sound good, and I start to notice the lyrics after I've listened to a song about 10 times. The only exception I can think of is Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life. Otherwise, listening to lyrics takes way too much effort for me to want to do it. And I don't really like The Decemberists. I mean, I'll try harder to like them, but that is my current feeling. I mostly HATE how the singer inserts the sound "ay" instead of "ee" (keepayng instead of keeping, speakayng instead of speaking). That's really all I hear when I listen to it right now.

Also, while coming back to my room, I noticed a guy leaving a dorm room wearing only a towel. This is of course a common site, as guys do need to get to the shower. What I didn't realise until I was in my room was that he was coming out of a room in Cooley House, which is reserved for WISE (Women In Science & Engineering). There are no guys in WISE.

Not important or anything. I just noticed it and it made me laugh to myself, so I thought it'd be worth typing. Like the time the Ninja Hunters knocked on a door and it was answered by an angry guy in a bathrobe who was definitely in the middle of sex when we got there.

Guess who has finished ALL THE WORK

Me! I am doing so much better this semester than last semester. I mean, the first week is hardly evidence to show anything, but my attitude and everything is exactly where it should be. But yeah, I just finished all the French work due tomorrow (which I started Friday, after receiving the assignment Thursday). There was actually a lot of French work. Yesterday I finished the math homework due Wednesday. Now I can enjoy today knowing that I have NO WORK AT ALL to do. I have not had this feeling since, um, well, I think there were a couple times in high school where I bothered to finish my work ahead of time and it felt like this. Dang. Today is going to be so great.

As for the broader perspective of my life, I am doing really well. I am making friends now, for example. It is not very hard to make friends. Actually it is really easy to make friends. It just takes some effort, and then you have to visit people and stuff, and not wait for them to initiate anything. I used to always leave it to other people to initiate stuff, and I would get all depressed when no one did, thinking that everyone must hate me. In truth, people basically are too lazy, or they barely know me, or they are doing the same thing I am doing. In each circumstance, initiating stuff is the answer.

This is pretty basic stuff, and I've probably known that, but I finally started doing it. Exciting time. Also, I've realised that while I cannot directly control my emotions, it is easy to indirectly control them. Exempli gratia, I get depressed. Instead of wallowing (more on this later), I figure out why I am depressed. Say it is because I don't think people care about me. I then go hang out with someone who definitely cares with me. Actually the solution to depression is usually hanging out with someone (for me anyway), but it is typically a pretty specific type of someone. When it comes to the point where I am depressed and don't want to think about it, I go for a run. For at least 15 minutes. This ALWAYS HELPS.

My dad used to say something like, "mix up your chemicals; don't add new ones." The idea is to promote running as a "bestitute" for drugs. I think there's something to that. When I run for 15 minutes, my mind feels clearer, and more open. It certainly doesn't remove such as depression, but it gives me a better angle on what's going on, and the will to solve the problem at hand.

Anyway, my room is clean, my work is done, my previously dirty clothing is being laundered, I have friends, and today I am going to celebrate my dad's birthday. For me, my life is at the highest point it's been at in years. And it's looking like it'll keep going up for a good while. Great!

Also, I am liking Inara George more and more. I like it more as background music than as active listening music, but I really like it a lot as background music. It is really good for doing homework without being distracting. I'm like, "daaaaang!"

I'm thinking a lot about the language I'm making right now. I wish I knew a linguist. Or hell, anybody who knows the basics of language and has the free time to help me with this.

A meditation on toilet seats

For the majority of my life, I have been in the "toilet seat AND cover both go down when you are done" camp. When there is no cover, I put down the seat. I feel this is a good habit. However, now that the dorm bathroom is actually a women's bathroom that says "MEN" on the door (basically meaning there are no urinals), guys all use normal toilets for everything. Now, I am beginning to appreciate the idea of leaving the seat up. If the seat is up, it signifies that there will be no urine on it if you have to take a dump. If it is down, then you just don't know. Now, when I need to unload the day's rations, I first see if any toilets have the seat up. It is much easier than entering the stall and inspecting the seat to make sure.

I mean, or you could just sit in a puddle of some dude's pee. It's up to you.

GOD my legs hurt

Ow!

I like sandwiches!

A good time

I am eating a sandwich while reading The Great Outdoor Fight.

Today is going to be great.

I am going to jam with Tom Goss in the afternoon maybe with a bunch of people. Also, starting at 9 or 10, I am going to hunt some ninja. I went to Acme Mercantile and bought new FUTURE GOGGLES and five tiny water pistols. Also a FUTURE GUN. We will probably be hunting ninjas, because, as Anneka said, it is our first time in months, and we want people to see us and think to themselves, "daaaaang."

I mentioned Ninja Hunting to Ewan, and he said he had been told about that during orientation. Someone from East Quad was talking about group opportunities, and they finished the list with "we even have ninja hunters," and a few people were apparently very impressed by this news. I hope we do not let them down and that instead we measure up to their golden standard of what a ninja hunter should be like.

Actually I just hope they join. Eventually, our ninja hunting group will be so huge that we will be too big for East Quad and will have to spread to South Quad and West Quad. Then we will begin leeching into Hill Campus, and finally North Campus. Then we will annex other colleges with our Ninja Hunting. It is going to be so great.

Is pretty great, to not be on facebook

One of the things I thought would be a problem is that I now cannot view the contact information of a lot of people I got in touch with over facebook. What I realise is that being facebook friends with someone does not make me any more "in touch" with them. It just gives me the secure feeling that I am. Being off facebook, I have to write down the contact information of people I actually WANT to be in touch with, and if anyone wants to know anything about me, they have to meet me. Also vice versa. I can't go read someone's profile and suddenly know everything about them anymore. I now have to go back to the old fashioned method of hanging out.

It is kinda weird though. It's like, I've been on facebook for a year and a half, and suddenly it's gone. This is something like what I would imagine it would be like to quit smoking. But probably to a much lesser degree. It's like, whoa, that is not a part of my life.

On the other hand, I feel really awesome. Kind of in the same way that indie-listeners probably feel awesome. Back when I first joined facebook, I was part of a small-ish group of people who were discovering a cool network of people. While I was on it, it evolved into a disgusting but glossed-over MySpace. The whole News Feed thing was what made me consider leaving, and then I was like "but that's a little extreme," but then I was like "well actually I've kinda been looking for an excuse for a while now. This is a good one."

So the newsfeed is the scapegoat (did you know that once a year, Jews blame all their sins on a goat? Shoshana told me this. It is apparently where the word "scapegoat" came from. Learning things like this is a cool thing to do) for why I left, but really I kinda stopped liking facebook around May or so. Maybe before then. It might have been before I left. Actually I still think they should have left the walls the way they used to be. When they changed the walls, I guess a seed was planted.

Anyway, leaving facebook does not count as a full blog post really. Other information about what I am doing: I met a girl named Angela yesterday, and it turns out I have known her for more than a year and a half, from an interfaith religious conference I went to those years ago. Also I moved her into her room, and somehow we both forgot that. This actually sounds like a much less weird revelation than it was at the time. At the time we were like "SHIIIIIIT." Also she has my umbrella. It's been a while since I've been separated from my brolly for this long. I want it back. Just kidding. I mean, I do want it back, but I don't want it so urgently that italics were necessary or anything.

She said that I should read Pride and Prejudice. I guess I should. But it goes on the bottom of my list, and considering that Gödel, Escher, Bach and House Of Leaves are both on the list above it, I probably won't get around to reading it for a good couple years, if I'm quick.

I'm listening to a lot of Звери today. I probably shouldn't like them as much as I do, but I do like them exactly that much, so fuck you.

Anyway I am going to go shopping for new Ninja-Hunting / Billionaires for Bush gear. Goodbye.

-Matt

facebook

The only things keeping me on facebook are my "Let's Unite the Planet" groups. Wait, I can set up a forum on the internet. That would make SO MUCH MORE SENSE. Facebook, goodbye.

THE DECADE OF THE BRAIN

Apparently this is how one could choose to refer to the 1990's. I don't really know whose idea this was. Anyway college is pretty cool and this is my ten minute break in between 5 hours of classes. I have class in 5 minutes, so bye.

Hahaha!

This is a somewhat good one.

A letter to a girl

This is a letter to a girl who definitely reads this blog.

Dear Girl: You will be pleased to know that I have finally thrown out the futon cover that I have had for more than one year. It has been replaced completely with a new futon cover, and I assure you that there is no way that anything displeasing could have already entered into this new cover. You can now feel safe and comfortable whenever you sit on my futon. Your pal, Matt.

I guess this is also a letter to anyone who went ninja hunting with me on a certain night when we decided to barge into a certain room to see a certain futon cover that had certain actions happening on it when we came in. You know who you are. Also the girl that this letter is to is Anneka.

For the rest of my post, I am going to talk about my life at this point.

After pausing for about 1 and a half minutes, I realise that I have a lot that happened, and not a lot to say about any of it. Thank you. -Matt

Today was pretty great

I discussed my idea for taking over the world and uniting it in peace with Patrick. He pointed out where my idea was weak, and where it was strong, and we modified it a bunch. Also we made more specific plans of action and came up with a bunch of ideas that could actually work. Basically, awesome. I'll detail exactly what our plan is later, but I'll wait until we have a more developed one. But we have some great ideas for specifically how a world government would work, and all kinds of things like that. Obviously, the hard part is getting there, but I mean, that's not a reason not to do it. Just a reason to be wary and not get our hopes up. Anyway, yeah, I'll detail plans later.

AWESOME POST

THAT IS SO TRUE THAT THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME POST THAT WILL BE MADE THIS MONTH. Akshaya moved in yesterday and I saw him today, and then I saw him again, and then I gave him all his stuff and helped him pimp out his room and then we ate dinner. Also I went to help out at the Yard Sale for a few hours. There actually wasn't much to do there. Weird.

My RA put up all the name signs on the doors, and they have MONSTER TRUCKs on them. Anyway, I don't think I'm going to get a better ending line than that, so ciao, chochichuelos!

Risk!

The only expansion that I have not incorporated into my game right now is the Mars expansion. It would be cool if I could get that, and then also get a second board. That way, a completely epic game of Risk could happen, starting on Earth, and expanding into Mars. It seems to me that this could be really awesome, or really horrible. Either way, it's something to be in the mood for. I have already thought of a pretty awesome way that Mars could be incorporated, but I don't think a single person who has even played the game reads this. So I'll spare you. Goodbye.

I hate everything and everyone right now!

Not really. This post is a lie, actually.

My phone works!

That's right, chochichuelos! You can now call my phone! 565.7870. My answering machine will pick it up instead of voice mail, my voice mailbox is no longer locked, AND they are going to come by to fix my phone (the numbers 6 and 3 do not work on it). GREAT

Friend! Friend!

I guess I'm friends with my RA now? I just ate dinner with him. His name is Ryan and he is an industrial engineer. He is, well, he's the kind of a guy that I would be friends with, so he'll probably be a good RA too.

Zoombinis!

I just bought this online. I will never regret this decision.

Also the Move-in-maker meeting happened. It was basically what you would expect a mass meeting to be like. I talked to a couple people I didn't know. One of them was named Lauren, and the other was named, er, I forgot her name. I'll ask her later. I never really know how to act in this kind of situation. It's not that I don't know how to act around people I don't know. I'm actually really good at that. It's how to act around people I don't know that I am supposed to become friends with. That's the one. Peers, in other words, I guess. Yeah, when I'm in a room full of adults I don't know, it's really easy to be what everyone wants me to be. All I do is listen to everybody's story, and everybody thinks I am great. But when I'm among people that I will see again, I am expected to have things to say, and I rarely do have anything of substance.

So I either come off as quiet and boring, or loud and boring. Yet I somehow manage to make friends eventually. I just hate this part. I have to go. Bye.

Night!

My dorm room is now clean. Not "tidy," but I'll get on that tomorrow. At this point, everything is in its place, and that's good enough to go to bed. Tomorrow I will make it look neat. Night.

I am in my room right now.

I am unpacking. I do not have much more to say. I will probably go and get something to eat later. Because, I mean, come on.

grrrphhgglump

My brother is listening to a rap song that goes something like "FUCK THE WORLD AND LET THEM DIE"

Good news folks! I found my earplugs! Also I move in tomorrow.

A big hello!

A big hello to everyone who reads my blog! I hope you have a very good day!

Daaaaamn

I just found a bunch of my England friends on facebook. Also my brother ended up with a 114% in his online civics course. What a weird day!

Sandals / Tech Commander

I've taken to running in my sandals a lot, and now my feet are hardcore. I mean, not as hardcore as walking around barefoot, but the tops of my feet are also hardcore. It is a kind of middle ground where all of my feet is hardcore to a lesser extent.

Also the Tech Commander went up to $50 already, and the auction ends Saturday. Shiiiiit.

RISK!

I discovered that there were expansions made for Risk 2210 (which is a version of Risk that I like a lot). There were five expansions made in total, and none of them are, or ever were, available for purchase (they were used in tournaments hosted by the game, and given out as prizes). Two are expansions I can make easily myself, and the rest I can probably make myself but would do a bad job. Here is a list of them and my opinions of them (if you don't know how to play Risk 2210, reading this entry will only confuse you—it is pretty different from regular Risk):

First: Five new cards; one for each commander. Basically they are just good cards. However, since the game comes with blank cards, it would be easy to write the cards down on the spares. Not as pretty, but I'm not going to go planet hunting for 5 cards that look prettier.

Second: Mars. And its two moons. You do this instead of Earth. The Martian board reminds me of the Lord Of The Rings version of the game, where every territory seems to border 6-8 other territories, making paths of attack unpredictable. I don't think I would use this very much if I had it. Unless I had two sets of pieces, in which I would play with Mars instead of the Moon. Or maybe have all three moons as well. That could be awesome, if rather confusing. Point is, I'm not in a hurry to find this one.

Third: Tech Commander. I WANT THIS ONE. All it is is a sixth commander called the Tech Commander, along with his set of cards. But they are awesome cards, and, I, really want this. I found it on ebay. Right now it's at $20, but it may go up to $50-$75, looking at past auctions. However, my brother said he would chip in, so I am tempted to do this. I probably will.

Fourth: Factions. This makes the game more similar to diplomacy, in that everyone has a national, well, not national, but perhaps political identity. Also each faction has advantages and disadvantages, and start with different commanders and cards etc. This would be very easy to do myself, because the only physical thing to copy is a place-mat that everyone gets, showing what their faction does and everything. I mean, I could make them in InDesign and print them off. In fact, I'm going to do that when I finish writing this.

Fifth: Invasion of the Giant Amoebas! Aliens are attacking during the game. Basically at the beginning of every turn, the player turns over an amoeba invasion card, which can do a number of things. Usually, amoebas attack a random territory. They all roll 8-sided dice. Other cards do things like doubling the number of amoebas in every territory, etc. This is something I'd like, but it isn't something I'd use every game, like the factions and tech commander (and special cards). I want this much more than, say, Mars though.

My order of wanting these would be: Third, Fifth, Fourth, Second, First. Matt OUT.

Decemberists

As I said to Gynelle, I think I am my only friend who does not care about the Decemberists. Not that I don't like them, I've just never listened to them, and everybody is all "OMG DECEMBERISTS" and I am all "what."

Goodnight everybody!

Third post in a few hours

I decided that I am not going to buy the Optimus Keyboard when it comes out. I have a couple problems with it, and, cool as it is, it isn't worth it to me for these reasons.

First of all, it's not a very dust-proof or cleanable design. That is also one of the reasons that I dislike Apple's keyboard (I heard they fixed this problem recently?); after a while it gets disgusting. I think that for a keyboard that is this beautiful, they should ensure that it will stay beautiful.

Second, I don't like OLED technology. As far as I know, anyway. OLED is faster than e-paper, but I still would rather it use e-paper because of longevity. OLED pixels can be on for about 5000 hours, which is apparently a couple years of regular use. Some people might like getting a new keyboard every couple of years, but when I get things, I plan on having them for 5 or 10 years if possible. Electronic Paper, on the other hand, seems to last basically forever. Plus it has a memory, so it will display things even while off.

It seems like the OLED/e-paper trade-off is between animations and longevity. I can see how a lot of people would want animations, and I can see how that would be a better starting place, but I would rather hold out for the latter. I mean, if you want to market this new awesome idea, I can see that animations are the best thing ever. That way people go WOW and take out their wallets. A changing keyboard is great, but not great enough for a first idea.

I'm hoping that after the shock wears off and Optimus gets off the ground, they will come out with the improvements I named. I don't really want an animating keyboard. It would be really cool the day I got it, and would be awesome to show people, but for me the excitement would be temporary, and I'd rather the keyboard not be temporary as well. If I want animating keys, I'll buy the Mini-3.

So, Artemy Lebedev, in case you happen to read this, I will buy your product if you do those two things.

Bummer. That's a bummer.

I doubt I'm the only person this happens to, but more often than not, when I read a blog that talks about something sad that happened to the author or that the author is really depressed or some other form of bad news, I get the urge to comment with "bummer, man." The urge doesn't make me bad, I know. But would it make me bad if I followed through?

Also, I have Pennies In Heaven stuck in my head FOR NO REASON.

DHTML

The HTML I did yesterday made me want to try something. I hope it works.

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

Awesome

PS on the previous post

P.S. I just finished cutting my hair. If you see me without knowing that I cut my hair, you probably won't notice that I cut my hair. I need a mirror that I can hold in my hand, because right now I cannot see the back of my head when I cut my hair. If you haven't read the post I made a little while before this, there is a post that I made just before this, you should read it. Goodbye. -Matt

And my saga continues

Last night I got 14 hours of sleep from 10 to 12. I can only assume that my body is making up for my lack of sleep the night before (which is healthy—see my previous post on this subject). Although I apparently did get one hour of sleep the night before. That makes 15 hours of sleep in two nights. After keeping track for a while, I am pretty sure I need 7-8 hours of sleep per night, so that sounds right.

Yesterday I could not get the scanner to work and my brother needed to scan something. So I rode my bike to the fishbowl to scan it. I also went to Stadium Hardware to get a couple things I needed to fix my chair, to that market (Arbor Farms?) by Panorama to get shampoo and soap (I ran out of shampoo a couple days ago and have been using my parents'), and to Big Ten Burrito to get dinner for my brother and myself. I decided that would be a good celebration dinner and he agreed (he finished his class yesterday). Before you ask, yes, I did jump on the James bandwagon and I am now using Pine Tar shampoo and soap. It smells really nice. No, nice isn't the right word. Strong. It smells strong.

The fad right now seems to be using Vox, and particularly using some book feature incorporated within it. I am going to use the HTML knowledge incorporated in my memory to do the same thing:

Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid

I've been getting back into Gödel, Escher, Bach again. It has made me tempted to buy:

Bach: Die Kunst Der Fuge; Musikalisches Opfer

Whether I get it or not rather depends on an email I will receive from Anneka.

Anneka Goss: This is a link to her blog

HUGE MONITER

I am at the fishbowl doing something for my brother on a G5 with a 1920x1200 moniter. It is ridiculous, and awesome, and that is all I have to say.

Good times

I don't feel like posting but I probably should. Last night I went to stand in line for the Ditty Bops at 6:30. I expected that probably I would be standing alone for a half hour or so, but instead I was second in line, and the line formed behind me pretty quick. My asshole friends decided that they would not come to stand with me until 7:15 or so. Anneka rode her bike past me and waved a little before that though. Anyway, we got seats right up next to the stage in the centre, and it was, well, I don't need to tell you that it was really great. The opening band was the Ginn Sisters (hard 'G', by the way), and they were good. If I hadn't discovered the Ditty Bops as an opening band, I probably would have been really impressed by the Ginn Sisters. But I was already expecting them to be good, and they were.

I got my CD's signed, also a bicycle bikini calendar, and a tour poster. The tour posted is awesome. I mean, you just have to look at it.

We ate at the Fleetwood, and I ate French Toast. Then I went to Gynelle's house, ended up with Risk 2210 somehow, didn't play it, and I don't think I ever got to sleep. I hope I didn't make too much of a prat of myself.

This morning at 11:00 we saw the first showing of Snakes on a Plane. It was pretty much what the title suggests it to be. Basically there are snakes and Samuel Jackson on a plane. Time well spent, I think. I'm home now, I'm too tired to do anything, and too awake to sleep (also it is light out). I don't really want to be posting here right now. I kind of have to take a massive dump. Goodbye.

Best night of my life

I am about to walk downtown to watch the Ditty Bops / eat at the Fleetwood / spend the night at Gynelle's / watch Snakes On A Plane. BEST NIGHT EVER

Guys' Movie Night

Last night we watched Re-Animator. It is the kind of movie that could be very interesting but was instead very boring. However, it did have zombies, a naked girl, blood, and blood. We also rented Spectreman Verses The Cyborg Rat but we ended up not watching that movie. You can understand how something like this would happen.

The camera I have did not work, so instead of taking pictures, we found pictures of ourselves on the internet and made it into a pretty basic photo album on facebook. The camera started working for no reason when it was too late.

I think Kevin and I managed to spend an entire hour at bestthing.info. Otherwise, we ate chicken, played poker, listened to manly music, didn't sleep, made nachos, burnt some potatoes, and cleaned up some vomit.

Anyway, I slept from about 8:00 to 2:30. AAAAAAAAAAaA+++++++ WOULD SLEEP AGAIN

My feelings could be described by this emoticon— :|

I am pretty neutral right now. Last night Shoshana had a no-notice party and it was fun. We played games and had just the happiest time. Toward the end it got kind of stretched and I probably should have left earlier, but I actually had fun. I also lost one of my sandals, but after about 20 minutes of me looking for it, Alex Houser found it. Thank you Alex Houser. Thank you to everyone else who helped with as much success as I had. I'm like, "Daaaaang!"

Anyway, I think I now have more than 5 friends who maintain more than one blog. This upsets me. So I am going to only read one blog per person. Message to said people: If one of your multitude of blogs is "better" than the others, please tell me which it is. If you don't, I will probably be picking a random one. I mean, that is definitely what I will do. Also, while I have your ear, might I suggest that you use only one blog? I mean, this would make things easier for you, and me, and everyone who reads your blog(s). Basically everybody wins. Consider this.

I guess that was kind of a rant, but more polite. Well this is the end of today's rant. I'll probably make a post later today if I am bored. If not, I will not make a post later today.

Monster X

I hate it when I am fighting Monster X with three health and I get it down to about a centimetre of health left and then one of those green wormy missile things hits me and I die. I mean, that's only happened to me once so far, but it sucked.

Diplomacy

Well I pretty much got the same feeling I always get now. That being the feeling that I don't really have anything to say and nobody has anything to say to me. It really does take the fun out of, well, living, honestly. It's kind of like the opposite of studying for me. When it comes to studying, I am perfectly happy not doing it, and I don't really want to do it, but when I do, I like it a lot. Whereas when I hang out with any number of people, I really don't like not doing it, I really want to do it, and when I do, I hate it. I wonder if there's a solution to this problem. I mean, it'd be cool if someone had some insights or something. Obviously this is a problem with me, not with the entire world, and it's hard to see things in yourself. (By the way, if you are one of the cool people that does not give advice unless it is asked for, I am asking for it if you have any.)

To be honest, I'm definitely thinking about this too much. But then again, what am I supposed to do? Ignore it? I mean, I keep trying that. Man I really don't like this kind of depression. The kind I used to have was all right—I could wallow in it anyway. This kind is just, well, depressing. I guess I'm depressed for a reason instead of just depressed. I'd say I liked it better how I was, but I don't. I just want to, you know, have fun. I haven't done that for a really fucking long time.

Cave Story

I decided to start over with my three-life run in Cave Story. I love this game, and I really didn't like losing my place in Hell, but my skills have waned and the first two rooms of Hell are not the place to get them back. I just stopped in front of Omega in the Sand Zone. The only thing that I think will really make me regret this decision is when I have to go up against Monster X. Also the Core. And also the Undead Core. But mostly, well, the Core. I hate the Core.

The art of making nachos

There are times when a person will make some nachos, and they may think to themselves, "I wonder how I could make the perfect nachos." If you have been in this position, you are about to hear a secret that probably a lot of people know already or if you didn't know it you will look at me and say "well duh." It isn't really a secret at all. But it's rarely done.

First of all, always make your nachos in the oven. The microwave is only the kind of thing you use if you do not have any other kind of oven. Like if you're in a dorm room. If you are not allowed to have anything that is not a microwave, you can safely ignore the rest of this post. Otherwise, read on.

The big secret is to put the chips in the oven before you start making the nachos. This is a good idea for two reasons. First of all, it dries out your chips, so when you put all your toppings on, they will all get soaked up by the now-dry chips. This makes the chips tastier. Second, any fool can tell you that toasted chips taste better.

So, when making nachos, the first thing you want to do is set your oven for 400ºF. It usually takes my oven about 15-20 minutes to get to this point. I usually occupy this time by either finding all the potential ingredients, or playing with my dog.

Once your oven is at a neat 400º, it is time to put the chips in. Obviously, you want to put them on some kind of pan, and if you are smart, you will put foil (always shiny-side-down) on the pan (that way it is very easy to clean up). You want the chips to change in colour a little before you take them out again. Probably 10 minutes or something. Just keep looking. Anyway, this is the time to get your refried beans all heated up (a job for your microwave?!!). Also grate some cheese. Now, if you want these to be really good, you should put other things on, like peppers or onions (not whole—all cut up).

Another secret—before you put the beans on the chips, stir some of the grated cheese into the already-heated-up beans. For some reason, they pour easier when you do this. So when the chips are done, you pour the beans over them, and then you dump all the grated cheese on it along with anything else that you like. Put the thing back in the oven and it should be ready in 10 minutes or so. Make sure you turn the oven off when you are done. I do not want you to burn your house down or just waste a bunch of precious gas just because you don't think I was clear as to whether or not you should leave the oven on when you are done. You should never leave the oven on when you are done.

Anyway, when you are done, you should have some nachos with a great taste that you completely like.

Thoughts that are maybe worth writing down

Thought singular actually. Anyway, a few days back I was talking to a Christian fundamentalist. It is really hard to talk to people like that because we think of things so differently. I mean, we disagree even on the concept of black and white. Once I accused a fundamentalist of looking at the world as though it was black and white and he was ignoring all the shades of grey and the entire fucking rainbow, and he was like "but the world is black and white. It is simple. I throw something up and it comes back down." G-Money might remember that incident.

Back to the point, it is hard for me to have intelligent conversations because we completely do not relate even on a basic level (I never noticed that was a palindrome before!). Anyway, I told him that I think humans need to solve their problems themselves. He said that I was being too idealistic, and I would be waiting for something that could never happen. I asked what he was waiting for and he told me he was waiting for the coming of Christ. I said to myself: "And that's not idealistic." I said to him: "Okay, good luck with that," and went to find a new conversation with someone else.

However, it got me thinking. So, here is what I came up with. Take, as an axiom (I love using this word), the Christian Bible and philosophy to be true. In a literal sense. Most importantly the idea of revelations and the coming of Christ. Okay, so taking that as true, here is history according to me:

Time began with God taking completely care of us, as a parent takes care of children. He then booted us out of Eden to fend for ourselves, but with help. For the next thousand (?) years, we carried on with his intervention. Then he sent his son (representing humanity), and killed him. I take this to mean that he booted us out again, but for real. He was saying, "Okay, no more help from me. You take care of yourselves from here on out." Of course, he didn't actually say that. But he did leave us with a prophecy of the return of Christ.

And then 2000 years passed without so much as a squeak from heaven. That's quite a while for God to do nothing, eh? Don't you think he would have set revelations in motion by now? I think so. Unless he's waiting for something. Either a specific period of time, or a specific event. If it's a period of time, as Christians seem to believe, then I wonder why. I thought the idea was supposed to be that God was infinitely wise, not attached to units of time.

So I am assuming it is not a unit of time that God is waiting for, and it is indeed an event. And I think the event must depend on humans. It was the humans that he gave free-will to, and therefore we are the only things out of his control. Therefore, it seems logical to me that God wants us to do something. What? Well, I think he wants us to create Heaven on Earth. Bring time full-circle so that the humans return themselves to Eden. I think he decided we've had enough help from him, and that we're ready to figure it out on our own. That makes sense to me.

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind. Thanks for reading. If someone who knows more about Christianity has an argument against mine, I'd appreciate it. I haven't actually read revelations, actually, so I don't really know anything about it except that our physical world will end and we go to heaven. I might even be wrong at that. Let me know.

I am excited and cannot sleep even though I want to

I have a really awesome idea that I've been playing with for the past month. I just told it to someone for the first time today and my excitement about it got renewed. I'd detail it here, but it is really unlikely that what I want to happen would happen, and I don't want 7 comments saying "Matt that is a stupid idea it would not work." I know that saying that would make people not say that, but I don't really want people reading it and thinking to themselves "Matt's lost it" or whatever either.

Basically it's just not the kind of thing I want on the internet. If you ask me about it like in person, I'll tell you all the details. Otherwise, you aren't really missing out. Like I said, if it fails, which it most definitely will, it will be completely worthless.

That said, if it works, then oh man. It would be huge. That is why I'm excited.

Pi Day is a propoganda sham!!

Most of you already know this, but for those of you that don't, Pi Day (March 14) is a sham! The idea is that March 14 is 3/14 or 3.14; the first three digits of pi (3.14159265...). Many people have been happy blindly celebrating this FALSE HOLIDAY. That's right. FALSE HOLIDAY. The actual Pi Day should be on 22 July. Or 22/7. Because 22/7=3.14285714...

Pi - 3.14 = 0.00159265... while 22/7 - pi = 0.00126449...

As you can clearly see, 22/7 is closer to pi by 0.00032816...

DON'T BE A FOOL DON'T CELEBRATE PI DAY IN MARCH WITH THE OTHER DRONES!!!

Cave Story

It somehow changed from "Not saving" to "Not saving with 3 health". I died in Grasstown fighting Balfrog.

I want to live in the wilderness

For a few years. Maybe after college. I hope I do it. I'd probably either become really hardcore or I'd leave or die or something. I'm kind of tired of the life I'm living right now and I want to do something really hard.

In other news most of the people I voted for won. But Woods lost to Hieftje by a landslide. 2/3 majority anyway. Pity. Not that I was expecting a different outcome.

I just noticed that the pictures part of my website displays an error when you try to look at the apache list, so I fixed the .htaccess file and now you can look at it. Pretty intense.

I was kinda looking forward to the diplomacy thing, but it is probably going to never happen ever. Just kidding. That's just what I feel like. But there will be a very manly movie night on Friday. It will be pretty great. We'll grill a chicken and play football and watch porn. You should come! Unless you have only X chromosomes. Then you are not welcome.

I'm going to practise my violin for the first time in a long time tomorrow. It's been almost a month I think.

I'm going to stop posting, and I am too awake to go to bed, so I am going to start a new cave story game and go as far as I can without saving. I'll let you know how it goes.

HOLY SHIT

The new Ditty Bops album is SO GOOD SO GOOD SO GOOD

Eee-yup.

I am wearing my first [genuine] "I Voted" sticker. It beats my old collection of "I Tried" stickers any fucking day of the week.

Also the Ditty Bops's new album came in the mail. Exciting !

By the by, I've had a Google Calendar for a while now—it's at the bottom of that column to the right. If you want to know whether I can hang out or not, this calendar will answer that question.

Well daggumn.

I've looked through a few Summer albums of people I don't know very well on facebook, and they're usually fun to look through. But just now, I started looking through a summer album basically full of my friends (the one Molly put up earlier), but with me not there. It's really brought home the fact that I haven't really hung out with anyone at all this summer. And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Well, that's dishonest. I know exactly how I feel about that. I feel sad. Not because I was "left out" or something, but because I chose to keep to myself when I could have been with friends. But then again, I chose to avoid friends precisely because being around them makes me sad. So what the fuck am I to do? It's kind of a lose-lose situation. One reaction is that I need to make some friends in college, but that's silly. I already have a bunch of friends. (Not to say I shouldn't make a huge bunch of college friends, just that they shouldn't replace my older friends.)

But, the only thing that makes me feel more left out than not being around my friends is being around my friends. Anyhow, I'm going to attempt joining in on a diplomacy party on Thursday I think. Back into the social swing of things. Maybe I'll like it this time, now I've had some time to be alone. Then again, I had plenty of time to be alone from January to April. Well, whatever.

A thought followed by brief excitement

After a conversation with Kate (who is very great by the way) I got to thinking about optimism. I am generally an optimistic person wherever possible, and I could imagine people telling me that I am foolish to be that way. So, I decided to ask myself if it is actually foolish. And if it isn't, why isn't it?

Well, I think it ultimately depends on how much you know. For example, if the weather forecast says "200% chance hurricane" it would be silly (not optimistic) to say "I BET IT IS SUNNY AND NICE ALL DAY." On the other hand, if you have no idea what the weather will be like, and have no way of finding out, then this is where grey area begins. Some people (me) might argue that since there is no way of knowing, you may as well assume it will be sunny. Others might argue that you should assume it will rain, so you won't be upset if it does. This paragraph assumes, of course, that you prefer sunshine to rain.

Now that was one example. But what about the world, or human beings, or something like that. What humans will do is completely unpredictable (that is to say, you can come up with several good predictions, but you have no way of actually knowing until after-the-fact). So, should you be pessimistic about them, or optimistic? Well do what you want. I've decided that it makes no difference. Whether you have high hopes or no expectations, you aren't more or less "prepared." Just like with rain. Just because you assume it will rain doesn't mean you have to not bring an umbrella.

So I have rationalised my optimism to myself with this: I would rather be disappointed when things go badly than be satisfied when things go badly.

Brief excitement: The Optimus Mini-Three starts shipping in a week, which means the Optimus Keyboard will be coming soon. Oh man oh man oh man oh man!

Hypothetical Stiuation:

What do you do if:

You have just finished getting ready for bed and are eyeing the bed you are about to sleep in because you are about to get in it. Suddenly the phone rings, and you abandon thoughts of bed and follow the ringing to the telephone. Upon answering, you hear "hey this is Anneka I am breaking into a house with Molly you should help. It's on Pontiac Trail. I am doing this because I want to look at the second floor."

There are several things a person can do in this situation. Guess what I did. Good night.

Day day day

Today I woke up, went to the temple for a couple hours, ran (wearing sandals that cut my feet in the process) a mile to the bus station, waited a half-hour for the bus, beat Erica and Simon and Ted at Risk 2210 (Basically Risk but way more awesome), teamed up with Erica against Ted and Simon to win two games of Euchre, played a few other games with the same people (also beat Ted in Cowboys and Indians—what a great game), and made this post.

Too Late

Went to bed. Don't call me.

I'm bored

Somebody call me

Google

I just realised—Google is amazing. I mean, it searches the entire internet. Quickly. Like, I type in "amazing" and it finds every occurrence of "amazing" on the internet in a few seconds. The internet is a big place. This is very magnificent.

Two (2) Things

1. On my LiveJournal account (I only have it so I can read some blogs) I am completely blatant about who I am. Every other person I know does not have their name on their blog. Sometimes, they place a fake name, other times, no name. But me, I have my name in big bold letters. Does this make me an idiot? You know, for so flamboyantly offering my name?

2. A conversation with my dad:

DAD: Walks into my room. "Hey! Your uncle and I are going for a 20-mile run in the morning! Want to come? We wake up at six o'clock!"
ME: Looks at clock (1:30 a.m.).
DAD: Looks at clock. "Six-thirty."

Cyanide and Happiness

This sounds like the title to a comic that is not funny. Well, that is only half-right. It is a comic, but it isn't not funny. Here's the first one. They update every day (not just weekdays) and have been for a year and a half. They're like a mix between super mega and rejected. The comic has at least three different artists. It's weird. Check it out.

The dickens of a chuckle

The following (most recent) achewood comic has a number of elements of note:

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07312006

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival

Is so on the power mix.

Argh

When I am not on a computer I have several ideas of things that I should find on the internet, but I forget them when I am on a computer. I should write them down when I am not at a computer, but I only remember to do that when I am at the computer after forgetting the idea. You see the problem.

Post

For future reference, if I am not lying about something like my previous post, I will throw in an occasional "by the way I am being serious and not joking."

Anyway, my family reunion was a lot of fun, and I went white water rafting for the first time in my life. I fell out and it was cold, but then I got back in and I was still cold. I learned a new card game and a couple of drinking games. All in all, a good few days.

Incidentally, I am planning on maybe going to Toronto for a couple days or something. We'll see.

Tomorrow

I am leaving again. This time for good. I've had enough of America, and I am going to move to Toronto (I'll be living at the temple). I don't plan on coming back any time soon, if ever. I'll probably get on a computer at some point when I get there.

Bye.

Yesterday

I hung out with Simon and Kaitlin. AT THE SAME TIME. Just kidding. Different times (I was only kidding about the same time).

Peel peel peel

The skin on my shoulders is peeling! It's an exciting time.

Camera!

Heh, I guess it is kind of vain to make a post with only the purpose of placing a picture of yourself. But I am. I noticed a bunch of old pictures that never got removed from my camera. And I really like this picture of me. It was taken in the Toronto Botanical Garden on the day I left the monastery. I really like this picture, and I have no idea why.

WHAT AM I DOING RIGHT NOW

Not listening to the Eye of the Tiger. I am not listening to the Eye of the Tiger.

My Blog Entry For Today

I really want to write something here and I feel like there is something I should write about, but I have no idea what these somethings are. So I guess I'll settle for writing a couple of sentences, because there isn't much more to write about that I want to write about, and I can't think of a different subject that I want to write.

Back in general

I am back from Watervale. I read 7 books and spent most of every day wandering around with or without a camera (usually without). I decided that I am going to get my own thing to develop film in, but that is a problem because I don't know what it's called. Photographers! What is it called! It's that black can thing with a spool that holds the film so that I can put chemicals in it. I need help figuring this out.

Right now I am in a really anti-social mood, and have been for some time now. In fact, I've been in varying degrees of anti-social for the past couple months. I kind of wonder if it is just a long-ish phase, or if I just don't really like people. Anyway, I decided that it's ridiculous and I am going to start doing some serious hanging out. You heard me.

I decided that I am going to make some mood mixes. Right now what I mean by that is mood mix, because I've only thought of one mood that I want to make a mix for. I am putting together my Power! Mix. The idea is that when you listen to it, every song makes you feel like you are awesome and that you can do anything. So far, it has four songs, and only one of them is the Final Countdown (the other three are by the go team). I have high expectations for this project.

Also while I was gone I had a bunch of realisations about, uh, everything I guess. Mostly spiritual or psychological stuff, so I'll spare you most of it. But my favourite one was about honesty and compassion.

I was thinking about how so many people favour being nice to being honest. So if I have a booger hanging out of my nose at a nice dinner party, is anybody about to tell me? No of course not. A smaller number of people hate that, and will then be honest always. I used to look at this as an "I guess that's the best thing". Until I realised that it isn't just about honesty, and it's also about compassion. See, the majority of people tend toward dishonest compassion, while those who rebel against that are honest, but without compassion. Thing is, you can actually do both, and pretty easily as long as you're mindful of it. And picking one or the other is bad no matter what. Dishonest compassion makes you a bumbling fool, while honesty without compassion becomes cruelty.

Night.
-Matt

Back on the 22nd

Well I'm leaving for Watervale. I don't really want to go. Actually, I really just don't want to go. But I'm going. Then right after I'm at a family reunion until August. See you in August.

AAAAA

I CAN'T DO IT

NEVER POSTING AGAIN

Let's see how long I can do this

Snakes on a Plane

It's real. I saw it advertised at a movie theatre. For a while I just assumed it was a fake movie. I mean, the only evidence I saw of it was a bunch of fake trailers made for it on the internet, and the IMDb, which is also on the internet (I don't trust the internet for reliable information, ever, by the way). But I saw a movie poster, and it said it was coming out on the 18th of August. Dang. August is going to be kickass. Ditty Bops on the 17th, Snakes on a Plane on the 18th. I'm like, "daaaaang!"

Summer 용맹정진 2006

Yeah I'm just showing off putting Korean in the title. It transliterates to "Yongmaeng Chōngjin" (pronounced kinda like "youngman junction" — I used to think that was how it was spelled when people talked about it), and it means "Ferocious Effort." In Korean monasteries, for the 7 or 9 days before Buddha's Enlightenment Day (usually in January), they will hold a Yongmaeng Chōngjin. This means they meditate all day, and then all night, and then repeat, until Buddha's birthday arrive (they don't go to sleep). Some monasteries hold Yongmaeng Chōngjins at other times of year as well, but that is the time that all of them do it.

I did not do that. In the west, we have a much less hardcore version. Here is our schedule:

5:00 - Wake up / cold rub-down and stretching
6:00 - 108 prostrations, then the first meditation period
8:30 - Breakfast
9:00 - Cleaning practise
10:00 - Rest
10:30 - Second meditation period
1:00 - Lunch
1:30 - Rest
2:30 - Work practise
6:00 - Optional snack
7:00 - Third meditation period
10:00 - "Bed time"
11:00 - Candles off on the alter

Okay, uh. Cold rub-downs are pretty-much what they sound like. You stand there naked in a small bathroom with about 15 other naked people and buckets full of cold water. You put a towel in a bucket, and rub yourself vigourously. You do your whole body 2 or 3 times (takes 15-20 minutes). It is definitely a way to wake up.

Meditation periods consist of a half-hour sitting meditation, a 10-minute break, a half-hour sitting meditation (with interviews), a half-hour walking meditation, and a half-hour sitting meditation (continuing interviews). The third meditation period has a fourth half-hour sitting.

Work Practise: I will now reveal the story behind yesterday's post. Yesterday's post is a lie. I did not come across any stinging nettles. I was upgraded to harvesting this weird tree that had it's trunk and all its branches covered in thorns that were bigger than my thumb. I'm like, "daaaaang!" My mom said she thinks it was called buckthorn. To me that sounds too innocent. I think it was called Murderthorn: The thorn plant that murders.

It was definitely an experience. I'd go into more detail about things that happened, but they're all meditation-related, and so I won't bore you.

Oh wait. There was one thing that happened. See, when we did walking meditation, we would go outside and jog in a line. Then we'd walk, eventually walk inside, and then walk really really really slow. While we were jogging on Saturday and Sunday, we were all shouting. The retreat is silent, so I guess that is to get all the built-up noise out of our systems. It's quite a spectacle—35 or so Buddhists running in a line shouting and screaming (not words, just sounds). Sometimes crowds would gather to watch, take pictures, or heckle us. But one guy liked it so much that he decided to join us. And then he went inside with us. And sat with us. And went up for an interview. It was during the interview that Sunim discovered that he was not from some other temple, and in fact just wandered it. Apparently he even signed a release form (retreaters sign a form that releases the temple's liability for things like being stabbed repeatedly by ridiculous thorns).

Well, this guy was actually in line next to me for interviews. Not behind me, or in front of me, like he was supposed to be. And he kept nudging me and trying to ask which of us should go first. It was pretty irritating, and I just ignored him until he said "okay you go first." I assumed he had just arrived from Chicago or Mexico. After my interview, I never saw him again. I was getting really worried that I had hallucinated him, and was all "what is this retreat doing to my head!" But then Sunim mentioned the guy when the retreat was over, and I was like "oh good I'm not crazy."

Otherwise, I have some ideas for my web site, and in the next month, they should happen.

OH SHIT STINGING NETTLES (part 3)

OHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

Toronto

First off, in case I've been unclear, I'm going to a Buddhist retreat in Toronto until Tuesday. That is where I am. Also, some people seem to think I had a horrible time there. I didn't. I loved it there. It was really hard, but that is a very different thing. Bye

DID YOU KNOW! (part 4)

I talked to a man I know (named Fong) who is a sleep expert. By expert I mean that he used to work for Pfizer on sleep medication and has also worked with Henry Ford Sleep Research. So he knows what he's talking about. Today is an educational post about sleep.

Sleep Cycles. It seems like most everyone I talk to knows how these work, but I didn't, and I don't know how much people are faking so they don't seem dumb. I'll explain it, and you can pretend you knew already (or if you knew, congratulations smarty-pants). When you sleep you sleep in several cycles. The first cycle consists of a lot of Deep Sleep, followed by a little REM Sleep. The next cycle has less Deep Sleep, and more REM Sleep. This continues, and the last cycle has a little Deep Sleep, followed by a lot of REM sleep. By the way, Deep Sleep is dreamless sleep that makes you feel rested and refreshed. REM (Rapid Eye Movement) Sleep is where your eyes are moving and you are dreaming. REM Sleep does not make you feel rested. REM Sleep, however, is very important for your ability to learn or remember things.

Anyway, you might be wondering, "How does my body know which cycle is my last cycle to do a little deep sleep and a lot of REM!" The answer is that it doesn't. There is some number of sleep cycles you are supposed to go through, and you will naturally wake up after the last one. If you wake up because of an alarm, or some other exterior happening, chances are you will be losing REM Sleep (think about it mathematically, that makes sense). In other words, you might feel perfectly rested, but you won't be performing your best as your memory and learning abilities will be hampered. Therefore, if you want to be at your best, it's important to get enough sleep.

You might be asking, "How much is enough sleep!" Well, it is different for everyone. But it is mostly known to the public that when you are little, you need a lot of sleep (infants can need 18 hours a day), and as you develop it gradually goes down. When you are an adult, it is 8 hours and 16 minutes, on average (it can be as little as 4 hours, can be as much as 10). Many people think that "adult" means when you stop growing, around 20 years old. However, "adult" actually means when your brain is no longer developing, at more like 35 years old. 20-year-olds typically need 9-10 hours of sleep per night. Now if you are 20 and you are thinking "bullshit I only get 7 and I'm great," then keep a couple things in mind. First off, everybody is different. You don't necessarily fall into the average. Secondly, if you lose REM Sleep, you don't feel more tired. So you might only be losing an insignificant amount of Deep Sleep, but a quite significant amount of REM Sleep.

Anyway to answer the question, "I don't know." I mean, you have to figure it out. What you should do is set a bed time that you will rigourously follow, and see when you wake up each morning. The ideal thing to be doing is going to bed at a time that you know will allow enough sleep, and not setting an alarm. By the way, this means that most college students don't get nearly enough sleep. Not that they don't feel rested, just that their learning abilities are severely hampered. … Yeah.

You might be wondering, "What if I sleep in on the weekends!" Well, this actually is healthy, and makes up for lost sleep during the week. That's right, it actually is. However, it's only healthy compared to not getting enough sleep ever. The healthiest thing is to always get enough sleep. But if you do sleep in on weekends, that does make up for it. Problem is, you're not getting enough REM Sleep during the week. Chances are that during the week is when you actually need it.

Ju prolly wonner, "What if ju take a nap!" Naps do not help. If you need to take a nap, you are not getting enough sleep. Full stop. I was really surprised to learn this. Basically, a typical 20-minute power nap will only be deep sleep, because it's just the beginning of the first cycle. So it feels very restful, but does you no good. I mean, naps aren't bad for you. They are a very nice way to rest or take a break. But they are not at all a substitute for actual sleep. I know, I heard this and I was like, "daaaaang."

I think that covers everything. You can ask a question, and if I know the answer, I will answer it.

Two (2) Things I forgot to write about that happened on the same day

A while ago I went to my cousin's graduation. I had a contest with my mom. "Find a black person." It ended in a draw, because none of the graduating students were black (although a couple looked like it but upon closer inspection they were just tanned). I later asked my cousin "what is up with the lack of black students" and he said "there are a bunch of black students in my class" and I said "why were they not there" and he was like "well it's not like they ever graduate." And I am like "daaaaang."

Also, while eating after the graduation, a couple of the males in my family decided that males were genetically better drivers than women. They expressed this argument and while a couple other males thoughtfully nodded their head, the rest of the males and all the females loudly shot them down and it soon turned into an exciting debate. As neither side had a lick of evidence, I grew bored and interrupted, asking loudly if anybody knew any good jokes (this is my default question that I ask if I can't think of an alternative quickly — it is usually a good question and it moves overall conversation in a direction I like). Immediately, my wonderful brother shouted "I do! Why can't Helen Keller Drive!" It was a beautiful moment. (In case you have not heard this joke, the punchline insists that Helen Keller cannot drive because she is a woman.)

The third, bonus entry is that the newest Super Mega comic is particularly excellent.

The fourth, super deluxe bonus entry is that I finally got a google calendar. If you want to see what I am doing with my life, you can easily click the convenient Google Link™ to the right (it has GOOGLE CALENDAR written on it, you should not miss it).

OH SHIT STINGING NETTLES (part 2)

You'd think that by now I would know how to identify this plant.

Postcardware

I just got a program that called itself postcardware. Apparently this means that if I like it, I should send a postcard saying so. I approve.

Inconvenient Truth

I just saw the movie; everybody ever should see it.

That said, it did leave me with a couple of questions: (1) Gore said they took a sample of some large number of scientific articles and none of them hinted that there was any doubt about global warming being a huge doubt. He did not specify as to what kind of survey. If it was a random sample, then that's all fine, but he didn't say that, he just said "sample." (2) There were a lot of pictures of glaciers over time and it would have the year in the corner. Obviously, the glaciers were much smaller / gone when the year was more modern. I would want to know what time of year it was, though. If the past picture was taken in the winter, and the present picture in the summer, then, well, that accounts for a lot of the difference.

Gore is a smart guy, so I'm sure he's thought of this. But if it wasn't a random sample, and the pictures were taken at different times of year, that would leave a gaping hole for people to to attack him. And it would be a shame if that undermined the clear message of the movie. I'm not going to bother looking it up though. I mean, if it is bogus, then I'm sure it will become clear. If it's not, the movie will be unchallenged, and hey, great.

Yeah but anyway, see the movie. I give it three thumbs up.

No more blood!

The bloodied-up part of my thumbnail just fell off, so now it looks much more normal. It's kind of weird. I'm so used to seeing this big red spot on it and now it looks so bland and boring. Does this mean I want to get another staple-gun and start at square-one? Fuck no.

Tired but ready for the new day

My sleeping schedule is shot to hell.

DID YOU KNOW! (part 3)

Educating article on segregation.

THINGS TO DO TODAY

•   Listen to Tom Waits

Ecstasy

We met a guy on the diag who was probably on ecstasy and he bitch-slapped Brian pretty dang hard. I don't feel like explaining; go read Gynelle's blog.

Hahaha!

So I watched the new Pink Panther last night (with Steve Martin). It was, well, really, really bad. I was thinking back and decided that I haven't seen a worse movie since Riding with Death. Then I remembered Space Mutiny and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. But the thing is, neither of those were trying to be funny. If a movie is trying to be suspenseful or intense or something like that, and fails, you can laugh at it. When a movie tries to be funny, there is nothing you can do except pick up a magazine and start reading it during the movie (I read a discovery magazine about the Great Depression; I learned a lot!).

Yeah. I think that every time Steve Martin talked in Pink Panther I died a little. I mean, the movie basically used the same joke over and over again, and it wasn't funny the first time. And it also wasn't funny at any other time. Wait, wait, there was one part that I smiled at, actually. If you've seen it, remember the scene where Steve Martin shouts "Newspapers!" and they put up newspapers? And then that happens a few times? And then Steve Martin falls down the steps to the subway? That scene (sans subway) was the best part of the movie. If you haven't seen the movie, you get a THUMBS UP award.

Anyway, my family was all depressed when it was finished, and we were like man we need to do something to finish this day on a good note. We ended up watching the Princess Bride (I like this movie a lot, as does everybody. You like it a lot too). I noticed midway through that the six-fingered man reminded me of Corky from Waiting for Guffman. I said that to my family and they were like "heh yeah there are some similarities." And I was like "no seriously, guys, I think it's the same actor." And they were like "haha shut up Matthew." And then we got to the credits, and who played the six-fingered man? Christopher Guest! I get to add another notch to my "I was right and they were wrong" wall.

P.S. My brother is really getting obsessed with OutKast lately. I mean, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers are a good band (I'm told by people I respect, anyway), so him ruining them for me by playing the same stuff by them nonstop is a little okay. But OutKast? They basically have no songs that could be called good by anybody with reasonable taste. I mean, they suck and I hate them. I want my brother to turn them off. I told him that, and he was like "whatever shut up fag." He didn't say fag, but that is what I imagine in my mind.

Good mood again!

Today was a moody week!

Yeah, lonely it is

You know how when you are hungry, sometimes you don't feel like food? You just feel hungry, but nothing sounds good. It's like that. I hope so, anyway. If it is, then the cure is hanging out with someone. I hope that's it.

Also my parents are talking about how I'm really not doing well. They think I'm asleep, I think. Overhearing these conversations is kinda annoying.

DID YOU KNOW! (part 2)

It isn't really surprising to anybody that women are quicker at picking up emotions than men are. This meaning such as facial expressions (for joy, anger, SO-SAD, etc). What is more interesting is the one very-specific exception. Apparently, men and women are equal at how quickly they pick up anger. Unless the angry person is male, in which men are actually quicker. So men are quicker than women at picking out an angry man. This makes sense, if you think about it. When angry, men are more likely to become violent than an angry woman. Also, men are more likely to kill men than to kill women. So if you are a man, and you are near an angry man, you are probably in more danger than any women nearby.

It's interesting how the male psychology seems to cater more to anger and violence. It makes sense, as men were the hunters and women were the mothers, but it's still fun to read about it when science proves it true. Also, apparently, men have a brain-reaction leading to joy whenever they see a bad guy get his comeuppance. Women do not have this brain-reaction. Heh. We men are just so much more violent than women !

The rudest video on the INTERNET

The RUDEST

Fuck this

Sprint® seems to have trademarked the phrase "Fair & Flexible."

Emotion, what the heck are you?

Man I have some kind of emotion going on right now and I don't even know what it is. I have a feeling (and I'm usually right about this kind of thing, what with it being my emotion) that it's not a happy emotion, and is more toward the depressed end of the spectrum. If it were depression though, I'd say so. I don't really know what it is, and I'd just as soon ignore it. Well, the me from half a year ago would have ignored it. At this point I know better than to ignore my emotions. Still though, I don't really know what's going on, or why it's going on.

As I said, it's definitely not depression. I've been all sorts of depressed, same as any person my age, and I know it well enough to know what it is. But I don't feel bad. Just, I dunno. Dissatisfied. A little unfulfilled. It's like the feeling you get when you just realised that you did something really wrong. Except, I can't for the life of me imagine what that would be.

But it isn't like that. Even though the past couple weeks have been really good, I just feel empty. Hungry, in a way. I feel a kind of loss of hope. Like I'm a failure. Hm. No that's not it. No, it is. Yeah, I feel like a failure. Why? I dunno. No, I don't feel like that. I'd better keep delving into this I guess.

Lonely. Is that it? Could be. Heh. I decide I don't like groups, and then I get lonely. Ah, irony of fate. I don't enjoy hanging out with my friends, yet I get like this when I'm not. I guess I need to find a middle road, eh? Eh.

I miss Gynelle, mostly. I think. Yeah, I miss Gynelle. I haven't hung out with her since December. No wait. January. The night before I left I hung out with her. But since then, it's always been with other people, and that really doesn't count.

Why is it that everybody has time to get together in a group, yet nobody has time to hang out alone? Then again, do I really even enjoy hanging out with one person? I guess it depends on whom. Does it?

I feel like I'm wasting my days. Yeah, that's it. I'm wasting my days. I don't seem to have a purpose. I'm happy when I'm at the temple, because then I'm helping a community grow. When I'm at home, I walk the dog, paint the house, relearn some math, and organise my room. I know that it's all to help me, but for what? What does any of that have to do with any of the things I want to do. What do I even want to do.

I just want to go to school, and be like everybody else. There, I said it. I'm tired of being the guy that's too stupid to go to school. People get flaming drunk every night, and yet they pass enough classes to graduate. I completely fail 100%.

Oh right! It's because I'm special! I'm unique! I'm a late-bloomer! That's it, right! It isn't that I'm a complete idiot, it's because I'm just different! Why didn't I see that before!

Man fuck that, I'm not fooling anyone. A smart person does not go to college and get zeros in every class. In America, the grades range from A through E, or F, as the case may be. In England, they go A through G, including E and F. And then, they have U. U means "Unmarked." It is the teacher's way of saying "why did you even make me go through the trouble of grading this." I didn't "fail" each class. I got a U in each class.

Aw fuck it I'm just tired I'll feel better in the morning.

Follow-up

Okay no more big groups for me. Or at least, not when I can avoid it.

Pickles on Parade

I have to remember that I don't like hanging out with a lot of friends at once. It always sounds like a lot of fun and then I do it and then I come home all unhappy. Although on the other hand, not going to such events would be viewed as "anti-social" and people would start assuming I had circumstances or something. I am not liking this situation. I guess the best thing to do is to just go and not enjoy it and then go home, basically what I am doing.

In case people are wondering why I am not really having get-togethers at my house anymore, by the way, this is why. There is another reason, but that'd just make people feel guilty, and I have no reason to do that. Yeah. I don't really like parties. I like the Night Crew because it involves just a few people going out and basically hanging out. I like being with a few people. But with a lot of people it just gets too, noisy. Noisy isn't the word I'm looking for. Partly I start automatically changing who I am to accommodate the atmosphere. Yeah. I become noisy. That's it. I don't like being noisy, yet I always start doing so when in a big group. And then afterwards I just feel unfulfilled. I don't like going to parties for this reason. I like being in small groups, preferably of two (me and you).

I did get to play a mandolin though, and it was wonderful. I did a shit job at it, but it was so awesome to have a mandolin in my hands again. I really need to save up for a mandolin. That would be a really good idea.

Anyway, I guess from now on I'll just keep going to parties, but I'll probably only come for short periods of time. Or something. I'll probably just keep doing what I'm doing and then make upset posts when I get home. Yeah. That's the plan.

This blog ain't gon' update itself

I need to learn to use a sewing machine. There is a huge hole (actually three of them) in my meditation pants. They are covered up with patches, but the patches are coming off because I hand-sewed them. Well, it's more complicated than that. Basically, if you don't know, with a patch, you need to hem the edges so that it won't fray over time. If you want to do a good job, use a sewing machine. I didn't know that I had to hem them before, so the patches are fraying to nothing. So I need to get new patches (done), hem them (not done), and sew them back on (also not done, but I know how). My mom knows how to use the machine, but we are never in the house at the same time. Does anybody want to teach me how to sew with just a straight stitch (this should be really easy) before this weekend?

Also, things are going really well right now. For me. I've managed to overcome that whole thing now, and everything seems to be falling in place. I am beginning to realise how pessimistic of a person I really am. I always thought of myself as an optimist, but I feel like I'm waiting for myself to fall down and fail at this new method. But the more it works, the more I'm realising that, well, dang, I did it. I'm going to college for sure. I am going to grab it by its horns and kick it.

I'm thinking of getting a membership at the Y. It's cheaper than the CCRB (apparently, Students have to pay now … retarded.), and I'm already familiar with all the equipment I'd use. Hey Josh, if you read this, do you want to co-ordinate this? I'd probably work out Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays, and I'm pretty sure your classes are on not those days, right? Is it even cheaper than the CCRB? It's $26 per month. How much was the CCRB?

I went to allofmp3 and got a bunch of music by ЛенинграД and Звери. I really like the way Russian sounds as a language. A lot more than French, anyway. I am considering doing Russian instead of French, because (a) I like it a lot better and (b) I actually know people who speak Russian. I doubt I will ever spend a significant amount of time in France or Russia, so neither language is more practical than the other. The only reason I'm doing French is because I have a lot of experience with it already. So going into Russian makes all my previous work in French a waste of time, and I'm not eager to do that. I could do French and then try my hand at Russian after college. Or, I could do Russian in college and finish up French after. What do you fellows think?

Honestly, I think it will depend on my schedule. There is one class I want to take and I'll probably go for whichever language fits in best. Speaking of which, I should contact Jennifer Myers to see if the class is scheduled yet. I kind of hope it conflicts with my French class. Heh. Russian would be so much more work. But, to be honest, I just want to do it more. I dislike this kind of situation. Daang. It also looks like Russian requires 4 hours per week of co-curricular activities (French required 80 minutes). So much more work. Yet I still want to. Oh wait. But it looks like Russian only meets four hours per week. I guess it's much smaller than French so it would make sense for it to not have a discussion. I have no idea how I should go about this decision. I hate gut vs logic. I'd try Shoshana's coin thing, but I already know what I want to do. It's what I should do.

Anyway, my room is starting to get organised, and I'm getting better at the violin. Still not enjoying the violin, but I'm getting better as I said. I always feel kind of bitter when I think about my violin. That's no good.

I'm getting back into transliterating Korean Buddhist chants. I found the yebul (예불몬) online in a few places, and they are all the same, and are different than the one the temple gives us. So I'm transliterating it using a romanisation that I made up, because the current ones don't make sense to me. That probably sounds really pretentious. I'm not aiming for that. I don't actually know anything about Korean except the alphabet, and the romanisation offered by the Korean government sucks, while romanisations of the past are insufficient for different reasons. So I combined a few of them to make something that makes a lot more sense to me.

I'm listening to O Brother Where Art Thou. Great.

Pat

I just noticed that my blog is the same style as Pat's blog. Does that make me an asshole?

Great great great!

GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT

Can't sleep!

Actually I changed my mind. I found something that works really well for my problem.

Basically, my real issue is that I get into arguments with myself. As soon as I know the right thing to do, a part of me says "but I don't wanna" and another says "but it's what you should do" and then I go back and forth and eventually one side wins. If my tantrum side wins, I end up wasting time, and if my good side wins, I force myself to do whatever it is.

This is how I've always done things. And that's part of the problem. So I talked to Haju the other day about it and she said to treat my problem like it was a crying baby. I can't ignore the problem or push it away or yell at it, because that'll just make the baby cry more. Instead I have to give it some positive attention and calm it down. So I tried it today when I got up. I saw some clothes that have been on the floor for a couple days.

Voice 1: You really should pick those up
Voice 2: I don't wanna!
Voice 1: Don't worry, it'll be okay, you can pick them up
Voice 2: Okay

And then I did it. And for the first time in my life, I didn't have to force myself. I actually wanted to. This may sound pretty dumb to you, but seriously, for me, that's huge.

And the same thing continued all day, with the same immediate result. And like I said, it isn't a new way of forcing myself to do something, it's actually a way for me to stop being childish and to actually want to do it.

Of course, I should wait a week before I go on about how great it is. Another problem is that whenever I get on a roll, I fall down a couple days later. But if this continues, then shit. I'm ready for college. Shit shit shit! (the good kind of shit)

I am so excited about this right now (which might have something to do with why I can't sleep).

I'm hoping that the computer screen will tire out my eyes, which can't seem to close. Anyway, I will keep this updated on how I do. Right now though, I am pumped! Seriously, I'm a smart guy, and if I can get past my not wanting to work, and get to the point where I always want to work, I will be unstoppable! I will be a lean mean Matt machine! I will be seven dollars! I am seven dollars! I will always be seven dollars! I will love you forever seven dollars!

. . . I wonder what I would be like if I smoked the reefer and then got really tired. You would not want to be around to see that.