GNALPRHGLPH

God DAMMIT my life is just FRUSTRATING as HELL right now

I mean things aren’t that bad in general it is just a combination of stress, lack of nourishment, “other,” and then my now-stronger-than-ever reflex to belittle all of my own feelings to the point where I feel like there is a fucking earthquake of anger going on in my belly.  I mean, I actually feel rumbling!

I guess everybody has their own way of beating themselves up when they are angry as hell—I spent a good while quietly banging my head against the wall, and it has given me a splitting headache that I still have.  I hope that’s gone tomorrow.

In a few weeks, I will feel so much better.  I guess that’s something.  But right now I am just angry as FUCK.  I just want to make a huge double-sized piñata of myself and just start completely destroying it with a bat, a golf club, and a shovel.  And when the piñata is unrecogizable I would just look at it and say “HI HOW ARE YOU MATT.  ARE YOU DOING FINE ON THIS FINE DAY.  TODAY IS FINE.  I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING AS MUCH FUN AS I AM.”  Then I guess I would step on any pieces of myself that weren’t completely destroyed.

PHGAGHLGRAPPGHARL! GNLPRNHPLRGNHP!!

I have work in 6 hours, I should see if I’m capable of falling asleep right now.