Ties are sexy

I think they just are. The specific situation is that a girl I know is dressed as a schoolgirl (woohoo for creativity.) but just with a rather unbuttoned shirt. I lent her my tie from my Embley Park days, and she is now about 8 times as sexy. I wonder if the loose tie just has a lot of sexual implications? I really don't know. Still though, the simple addition of a tie should not have made such a difference.

Also in general, all ties are always great on everybody all the time. That's what this world needs. More ties.

Best French Teacher

My French teacher is the best French teacher. Well, pretty awesome anyway. Basically, she left in the middle of class and a random guy came in and stole all her stuff and then she came back and gave us the in-class assignment of writing a police report in French. (The guy was actually a friend of hers and this was planned.) Probably one of the best assignments I have yet had. Kudos, Emily.

Too many people

Have not seen the Bollywood version of Thriller.

Violin

I jammed with Tom just now, and, having not played for a month, I sounded like utter crap. That said, I don't really care and I had a hella good time. I am going to start practising again once Adam gives me my electric back.

Good and bad

My physical body feels so happy right now and my brain feels completely gypped. I'll explain.

Today, I utilised my extra hour to wake up an hour earlier than usual (ie the same time) and work out for an hour. I really pushed myself to the limit and I haven't worked out for more than a year. It was GREAT. I am SO wiped out right now. Physically, that is. Walking up or down stairs or just in general hurts, it hurts to move my arms let alone carry books, and oh man I love it. The cool thing about weight training is that it will always be like that because I keep upping the weight. I am excited at my future. I am going to sleep beautifully tonight.

After working out and eating breakfast, I went to math class, where we learned a new concept. The geometric multiplicity of an eigenspace. GUESS WHAT. IT IS THE SAME THING I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST FIVE CHAPTERS. THAT IS THE STORY OF LINEAR ALGEBRA. I REALLY HATE THIS CLASS SO MUCH. IT IS LIKE, LET'S TAKE ONE CONCEPT AND GIVE IT AN ENTIRE TEXTBOOK WORTH OF TERMINOLOGY. GOOD IDEA! WE'LL CALL IT MATH 217. OKAY I'm done.

Then in French we spent the whole time going over the imperfect tense. It is not something I already had a clear grasp of, but I got a clear grasp of it before class technically started after glancing at the handout. I feel like I have wasted the past two hours of my life. But at least the hour a couple hours before that was well-spent. Next semester I hope I have hard classes. Seriously, I don't get why so many people are constantly having a really hard time and they have the same classes as me. Either I am doing something wrong or everybody is. Whtvr.

Matt OUT.

Zombies

I am doing that zombie RPG and I am kind of excited. I talked to Matt Hampel about it, and he will do it too. We will be a team. We've got a cool story started.

A war is brewing.

WISE and the RC can only live in the same building for so long. MRC will have to pick a side, and the real engineers will definitely be with the RC. It is on.

Friends?

Garnet and I might be friends.

Also I saw Chris Thile. And Bryan Sutton. And Gabe Witcher.

Groups

So I have been thinking about hanging out with groups. Most often, when I hang out with a group, I come out of it feeling all mega-depressed. And I finally started wondering (a) why and (b) why there are exceptions. Well, I think that two different situations arise when I am in a group. One is that I will hang out with one or two people in the group. When I do this, I don't get depressed, and I have a bunch of fun. However, I think it happens far more that I find that impossible (either because of activities that involve everybody, or because it is not my group of friends so that all the individuals know other people better than they know me).

Whenever I am in this situation, I act like someone I am not. This causes depression. See there, I've figured it out. I hate acting like someone I am not, so I come out of it feeling like shit. Now, the reason that "act like myself" is not a solution is that if I did just act like I normally would, I would be quiet and sit in the corner and do nothing. So the same solution remains: avoid groups whenever possible. If it is not avoidable, then there are more important things than my own momentary happiness, so it's all good.

The grass is greener

I think the reason people think the grass looks greener on "the other side" is because they are driven by some desire to get something they don't have. Instead, why not be happy with what you have and strive to do better? That way a person can look at the grass they have with gratitude, and the greener grass as a goal. This person is probably having a lot more fun. Give them a few years, and they will probably be happily munching on edible food that isn't even grass.

Also, poets suck at describing love. I'm not saying I can do it, but still, it is not a burning flame inside me or anything lame like that. I mean what the hell poets. Please do a better job.

Pet problem

I really don't like how our culture puts so much emphasis on apologising for dumb things and not apologising for things that demand an apology. For example, if you bump into a person, that person will apologise. What the hell. You bumped into them. Or when your relative dies, the proper response is "I'm sorry." What the hell. Yes I know that is short for "I am sorry to hear that," but why should the person be sorry to hear that. They shouldn't be. They should be glad you consider them friend enough to tell them.

On the other hand, when you actually fuck up, the proper response is to have an excuse. What the hell. Just what the HELL people.

In other news, Nora made a really fucking good mix for me, and one song was Mr. Blue Sky, and I was going crazy for a while trying to remember where I had heard the song. She suggested Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I may indeed remember it from there, but I did not like that movie at all. And then I remembered.

Taste-o-meter

I feel so cool to be one of the last.fm beta testers. Anyway the taste-o-meter feature they have is very cool. The idea is that on every user page there is this bar that shows how compatible you are with them. For example, I am completely not compatible with BJ, I am "high" compatible (a little over half) with James, and "super" (all the way) with Anneka.

…

It looks like "eat that disgusting hotdog" was one of the seven search strings that led people to my web page. Thank you, disgusting hotdog.

Social Experiment

I just signed onto facebook and changed my political beliefs to "Very Conservative." Technically, this is actually true, but I am only conservative by the century-old definition. The current definition of conservative seems to be fundamentalist, and I am not that. Anyway, I am curious to see how many people meet me in real life, friend me on facebook, see that I am very conservative, and then make a bunch of judgements about me based on that. I find this kind of thing fascinating.

Also, by the way, for those of you who are wondering what the old definition of conservative is, I am talking about small government that does not meddle with people, low taxes, and, most importantly, very slow changes. It seems like current "conservative" thought is nothing along these lines, but in actuality I am very old-school conservative. If you disagree with my views on this, then, I mean, whatever. I'm right.

Okay that does it

Dr. Mrs. Vandertramp is the pneumonic device that sucks.

Also, I am going to start working out. I have created a solid ~45 minute plan using mostly free-weights, because they are more versatile than machinery (meaning I will be able to continue my routine during times when I am not allowed in the CCRB). Also I will be doing running as a more official thing instead of a for-fun thing. This starts tomorrow. I know that when making goals like this it is best to be accountable to someone, so I am being accountable to my blog.

Basically the reason I want to do this is that I have been having more and more trouble sleeping, and I know for a fact that working out is about the best thing I can do to sleep better. I also know that working out in the afternoon is the healthiest, but my afternoons vary (ie I have work sometimes). Mornings are going to have to get the job done. Plus the CCRB is not crazy in the morning. Also if I work out early enough, I can eat breakfast after working out before class, and be all hell of energised.

The other reason to do this is because it is good to be strong. It is good for my masculinity, and also healthy in general. I mean, I guess I don't really need to explain why I want to work out. It is one of those things that everybody knows will make you live a happier and longer life.

It's late at night!

Hey now!

About me

In case other people agree with what Gynelle thinks about me, I would like to clarify something about who I am. I like changing my opinions, and I like being very adamant about my new opinions, no matter how likely I am to change them. This is one of the things that I like about who I am. I do this on purpose. For a long time, I have been of several opinions. One is that it is a good idea to hold fast to what you believe in. Hence my strong seemly unmovable opinions. The other is that it is a good idea to change your opinion when you find a better one. Hence my constant flip-flopping.

If this annoys you, sorry, but you shouldn't be reading about my life. I like changing my opinion in extreme ways, because it tends to move me toward a happy middle in the end. The problem with starting in the middle is that you have to know where the middle actually is, and I am figuring that out. So seriously, if you don't like the way my brain works, you should maybe get over it?

Nora again

For those that are curious, yes I am dating Nora now, although we have yet to go on a date. I am hell of busy right now though, so it probably won't happen for a week. I dunno, I am in to the whole taking the lady out to dinner thing when you are dating. I think that there are few things more hardcore than straight-up being a gentleman, and also dinner is awesome.

But yes, we are tied together in a bond of love now. Also I just talked to Gynelle, and that was awesome. We had a crazy-cool conversation, and when we were done I talked to Wilson briefly. He was the nicest he has ever been to me and, after remembering that it is Thursday night (glee club night), I think he is somewhat drunk.

Facebook again

So I'm thinking I should get back on facebook, but basically use it about as much as I am using Funky Man (ie, not much information save contact info). Basically, I'm thinking I should accept that facebook is the basic database of information that everybody uses. The difference is that I will not use such as the wall, or really even use facebook. I will just have an account that is there for people who want to see it. Thoughts?

Fire alarm

The fire alarm went off, so I proceeded to walk back inside, go to my room, acquire some gummy bears, and then go back outside. The fire alarm picnic buddies is the best idea ever. It is the idea so good that it will kill me one day.

My focus is crocus

I just can't focus on anything right now. It really sucks. Going to the temple this weekend will be dang good for me. I'm like, "hey brain, do this work," and my brain is all, "blabblegabbascraplable." I'm going to go outside for a few minutes.

Cave Story again

It is funny how I am faster at getting to Ballos with three health than I was with 55. I guess I did take a lot of time picking up health, but still, I am usually there in 8-9 minutes. Also I maintain that the area with the falling rocks is the hardest, even harder than Ballos. This is because I die there 95 times out of 100, yet I improve greatly on Ballos each time.

Art

I am beginning to work on art for the three people who replied. I am kind of looking forward to this. I am not actually sure if I am devoid of artistic talent; I've just never given it a try. Or actually do suck. I guess we will find out. Either way, I am having a bunch of fun, and there are still a couple spaces left if anybody wants some of the incredibly rare art by me. Seriously, think about how rare it is to have art by me. I do not make art. These five things may be the only art I ever do. If I grow up to be famous, which I will, these will all be worth millions of dollars, which they will. What an opportunity!

A comprehensive review of buy.com

Okay, so this site seems to always have the lowest prices all the time, and I always get the cheapest (free) shipping that predicts more than a week, and I always get it 2 days after I make the order. I am thinking that this is the best store to buy things on the internet.

Nora

There is a girl named Nora that I am probably going to start dating. I did make a promise to myself that I would not date anyone until after I had been good friends with them for at least 3 months, and I told her that. But I just realised that my approach here is silly. What we should wait on is the sex. Going out and such just gives us an excuse to hang out like 8 times as often and become really awesome friends. She's in Chicago right now, but I'll talk to her about this tomorrow.

Risk fucking 2210!

I just won an INTENSE game of risk. Also I feel really awake. I don't think I am going to forget any of this, because I feel awake. It has been a theory of mine that my memory is tied somehow to my cognitive abilities, of which I have none at night. Playing Risk, I kept my thinking going, and thus stayed awake. Let's see if I remember. I will let you know.

Empathy

DISCLAIMER: This post makes ridiculous generalisations, and also assumes that everybody is straight.

Why do men and women have such a difficult time understanding each other? You hear so many men saying that women are way too complicated to understand, and women tend to think guys are so simple that they are stupid. I mean, neither of these are true. The difference between men and women is that when a girl talks, she means a hella lot more than what she says, and when a guy talks, he just says what he means.

Guys have a hard time understanding girls because they aren't used to communicating so subtly, and girls have a hard time communicating with guys because they over-interpret what a guy says. But there's no reason for that. All you have to do is know that. If a guy knows that girls imply things, he can get a lot more out of a conversation. Likewise, if a girl knows that guys don't imply things, she can safely know that the guy is not saying anything that he isn't saying.

People make it out like relationships are so hard because girls and boys are so different, but they aren't. Relationships shouldn't be hard. With empathy, communication is easy (especially with empathy from both sides). Therefore, what is so hard about the relationship. If a relationship is hard, that probably means it is not working out.

So men: stop saying women are crazy-hard to understand. They aren't. And women: stop thinking men are dumb. We aren't. The reason we don't think so much about what we say is because we don't have to. And the reason we have trouble understanding what you say is because we don't try using empathy.

Continuing the thought, but going into attraction, I think some clarification is needed. First of all, an informative point for the nice guy. Have you ever been talking to a girl you like, and she has broken up with a jerk, and is talking about what a jerk he was, and then she looks at you and says, "why can't guys be like you?" And then she proceeds to go out with another jerk. Typically, when I detail this scenario to guys I know, I get an excited "YES. WHY." as a response. Well here is why.

Girls are attracted to, surprise, masculinity. Think about this: how often do men talk about their feelings or their relationships? MAYBE you can get two guys talking about their feelings in a very rare situation. But three? Hell no. This is not something that guys do. On the other hand, girls talk about these things a lot. So, nice guy. When you are talking with your female friends about relationships and feelings, guess who you are being. You are being a girl. All those friends of yours are not going to be attracted to you when, sociologically, you are a girl.

It is a similar thing to tomboys. Generally, when there is a girl who does stuff with the guys and acts like the guys, guys do not get attracted to her, but it is quite likely that she will be attracted to all of them. Don't be confused, by the way. If she acts like a girl in all the situations with the guys, the attraction will probably go both ways. But, sociologically, she is a guy, and the guys will not be attracted to a guy.

Back to nice guys. Why do girls keep going out with all those fucking jerks. Why doesn't she learn? Here's why: you can't control who you are attracted to, and guess why girls are attracted to jerks. It's because jerks are an example of pure masculinity. They have confidence, so they act like the leader of the pack, even if they aren't. They always just say what they mean, and are generally assholes, so they say things that are difficult for many people to say (an example of confidence). It is true that they are jerks, but when you are attracted to someone, that is that.

Here's the cool thing. You can take the confidence of the jerk and mix it with the niceness of you, and create a dream guy. It is easy to do. I mean, there are probably a billion million guides on the internet on how to do this, so I'm not going to explain it. It is very basic. As for girls, I find that society favours the female side a lot, and so you rarely have much trouble acting like a girl. If you are a tomboy and you are wondering why guys are not attracted to you, it is because men are not attracted to men. I haven't really looked into this much, because I don't think it happens much. Some comments on what makes a woman attractive to a man would be appreciated.

I have to go study, but I do have more to say on this subject if people are interested.

Art made by me

The first five people to respond to this get art from me. I do not have artistic talents to speak of, but I promise to put a lot of effort into whatever I do. Also I will not do the same thing for any two people. My concept of art ranges from drawing to a mixtape. The only catch is that if you comment you have to post this on your blog as well.

I signed up for someone else's art because I thought this was a basically awesome idea. And I want her art. If you make an anonymous comment, it does not count as one of those five, because I do not know who you are. Also don't expect your art soon. The deadline I am making for myself is Winter Break, but I don't plan on taking that long. We shall see.

EDIT: You don't have to like copy the exact text. The idea is that you make art for five people that post on your blog.

Got math exams back

I got a 92 out of 100 (the average was 84?). I made two stupid mistakes on it. I confused one-to-one and onto, and didn't recognise that a square matrix is either both one-to-one and onto or neither, respectively docking me 3 and 5 points. Honestly, those were some stupid mistakes, and I pretty much deserve to have lost 8 points. Otherwise, I got all the difficult stuff on the exam right. Kinda proud of that. Yep. Pretty proud.

I just noticed

That I have a mobile phone. Huh. I was wondering if I would use it more than I thought I would, but I actually haven't turned it on since when I got it those days ago. I mean, I was planning on turning it on once a day and all that, and I simply don't care. Yeah, call my dorm phone.

Who just got back from playing mafia

I feel the answer to this question is obvious.

Funky Man is all that's left

Facebook deleted Oscar Wilde, so my only tie to facebook now is Funky Man. I hope they do not delete Funky Man. Deleting Funky Man would not be cool at all. Then again, I would have absolutely no ties to facebook, and that would be cool. Also I found a group of people that has picnics during fire drills. That is basically awesome. I joined. Also I have a math exam tomorrow. Night.

Who has a new mobile phone

I have a new mobile phone. I am honestly not sure how I feel about it. I guess it is good because I can make long distance calls to the people that live in the same building as me. Apparently it is free if I call after 7:00pm or on weekends. I am not really sure at what time phone calls stop being free. Using what information I have, I would assume 7-midnight, but that would not make a lot of sense. It seems like it would stop around 4 or 5. I guess it does not really make a difference.

Anyway I will probably turn on my phone and check such as voice messages sometime after 7:00. Weekends will basically be unpredictable. I guess what I am saying is that you should not call my mobile phone unless you have already called my dorm phone and it didn't work. I would rather have messages on my gorgeous answering machine than on my strange voicemail system. Both phones are in the same 734 area code so neither phone is more or less convenient to call. My dorm phone is 565.7870 and my mobile phone is 330.0591. There is absolutely no advantage to calling my mobile phone because I will probably not pick it up. I mean if I am expecting a call I will pick up but otherwise I will not.

Call my dorm phone.

I have LAME FRIENDS

They are all leaving messages saying "Matt we are going to play Capture the Flag in the Arb you should come" and then I call them and they are telling me "we are not doing it anymore" and I am saying to them "how about we get other people and play tag" and they are all "no I am tired" or "no I am lazy" or "I have homework." FUCK YOU.

Anyway I found a bunch of video game music totalling 107 songs that make up two CD's. It's an exciting time.

Ohhhhh ouai

I made it to right before the Heavy Press in Hell. Got arrow'd right before getting in. Oh well. That was like my second try though. I am so much better at Cave Story than I used to be.

Apology to everyone in East Quad

The fire alarm was my fault. I just got back from class, and East Quad was very happy to see me. The fire alarm was its way of saying WELCOME BACK MATT I MISSED YOU. Sorry you all had to suffer for that.

Speakers!

I got the new speaker system that I ordered. It is called 5.1 (five speakers that surround you and one subwoofer that can basically go anywhere because it is a subwoofer), but it should be called either 1.5 or 5.HUGE. I mean it. The woofer is about 2 cubic feet. That may not sound huge, but if you think about it it really is. It takes up half the space under my desk, and it has a heat sink on the back. The two are not related, but it does have a heat sink. The speakers themselves are great. It is sometimes hard to tell that the sound is coming from speakers and is not real. If you couldn't see the speakers, locating them would be pretty difficult. These are some nice fucking speakers!

I made some new friends yesterday and that is pretty cool. I am still facing the undead core. I am now going to drink hell of water, and do some serious mathematics. The first midterm is on Wednesday, and if it is anything like the practise midterm, it will not be a problem at all.

Speaking of Math, I just checked the concentration requirements. Basically, I am on the right track. It is a good thing I did not take differential equations and instead went for linear algebra, because that is exactly what they say to do. I should then take a more-advanced differential equations course this winter. After that, I need to take at least 7 more math courses. Also I need to take a non-math course that is on the list they gave me. One of them is Game Theory (Econ 409). This sounds like hella fun. Basically, that is all I need to do to have a math major. Also they recommend that I take a couple physics courses and computer programming, which I will probably do. I mean, they sound fun.

Anyway, I designed next semester's schedule based on Winter 2006 (because '07 isn't up yet) and it looks like everything fits all right. I got Math 317, French 290, and Econ 101. I have all three on Mondays and Wednesdays which will kind of suck, but whatever. Not that much. Also I scheduled an appointment with a guy at the math department to see how I should go about my crazy decision to double-major in Business and Mathematics while remaining in the RC.

Time to study hell of mathematics.

Fever

Does anybody know how to take your own temperature without a thermometer and without going to UHS? I am really really hot and dehydrated right now, even though I have been drinking (and peeing back out) hell of water for the past few hours. I guess I don't need a thermometer to tell me that I have a fever. I guess the only reason I am making this post is because I do not like having a fever. Also I feel really faint, like I will pass out any second. It really sucks for getting work done. Especially what with my math homework, French exam, and neuropsychology paper all for tomorrow. UGULBUGLMUGTUGBUGFUGGUK

Fire Alarm

The fire alarm went off around 4:40. Man, I am not even going to go back to sleep at this point. It's like, that's a solid more-than-six hours of sleep. Not quite enough, but not bad either. I'm not really upset at the alarm at all. I think that this supports my claim that going to bed and waking up early leads to a happier existence.

RRRRRRRRAAAAARRRGGHHHH!

For the first time so far, I am really tired and stressed out. It is mostly because of my attempts to completely defy physics with my crazy schedule. Never again. It was better when I was bored and did extra studying. I hope to reach that point again soon. But for now, OH SHIT SCHOOLWORK THEN WORK THEN SCHOOLWORK AGAIN.

Who is going to get hella sleep tonight?

Me, I have earplugs.

I have a new next-door neighbour

The room next to mine was empty until a couple days ago. And now I hate that quiet hours do not start until 11:00. I guess if this keeps up I will knock on her door and tell her that I am usually in bed around 10:00 and it would be cool if she did not have parties in her room at that point. I think they are having sex in there right now.

UNDEAD CORE

About a month and a half after restarting my 3-health run of Cave Story, I have made it to the Undead Core. Also, I am better at the game than I was last time, because I am using more difficult strategies on the Doctor, and when I faced the Core, well, I beat it so fast. I am completely ready to go to hell.

Also I haven't shaved for a week and I got all these tiny little hairs growing on my face. It's like, I take a shower, and then I say to myself, man, I ain't want to shave right now I want to go to bed. So that's what I do. The worst thing is that I don't look good with stubble. There are some dudes who look extremely raw with stubble, and I am not one of them. I look like a disgusting college student who does not take showers or do homework. Let alone shave. "Ha! Shaving." That is what someone looking like me might say.