Empathy

DISCLAIMER: This post makes ridiculous generalisations, and also assumes that everybody is straight.

Why do men and women have such a difficult time understanding each other? You hear so many men saying that women are way too complicated to understand, and women tend to think guys are so simple that they are stupid. I mean, neither of these are true. The difference between men and women is that when a girl talks, she means a hella lot more than what she says, and when a guy talks, he just says what he means.

Guys have a hard time understanding girls because they aren't used to communicating so subtly, and girls have a hard time communicating with guys because they over-interpret what a guy says. But there's no reason for that. All you have to do is know that. If a guy knows that girls imply things, he can get a lot more out of a conversation. Likewise, if a girl knows that guys don't imply things, she can safely know that the guy is not saying anything that he isn't saying.

People make it out like relationships are so hard because girls and boys are so different, but they aren't. Relationships shouldn't be hard. With empathy, communication is easy (especially with empathy from both sides). Therefore, what is so hard about the relationship. If a relationship is hard, that probably means it is not working out.

So men: stop saying women are crazy-hard to understand. They aren't. And women: stop thinking men are dumb. We aren't. The reason we don't think so much about what we say is because we don't have to. And the reason we have trouble understanding what you say is because we don't try using empathy.

Continuing the thought, but going into attraction, I think some clarification is needed. First of all, an informative point for the nice guy. Have you ever been talking to a girl you like, and she has broken up with a jerk, and is talking about what a jerk he was, and then she looks at you and says, "why can't guys be like you?" And then she proceeds to go out with another jerk. Typically, when I detail this scenario to guys I know, I get an excited "YES. WHY." as a response. Well here is why.

Girls are attracted to, surprise, masculinity. Think about this: how often do men talk about their feelings or their relationships? MAYBE you can get two guys talking about their feelings in a very rare situation. But three? Hell no. This is not something that guys do. On the other hand, girls talk about these things a lot. So, nice guy. When you are talking with your female friends about relationships and feelings, guess who you are being. You are being a girl. All those friends of yours are not going to be attracted to you when, sociologically, you are a girl.

It is a similar thing to tomboys. Generally, when there is a girl who does stuff with the guys and acts like the guys, guys do not get attracted to her, but it is quite likely that she will be attracted to all of them. Don't be confused, by the way. If she acts like a girl in all the situations with the guys, the attraction will probably go both ways. But, sociologically, she is a guy, and the guys will not be attracted to a guy.

Back to nice guys. Why do girls keep going out with all those fucking jerks. Why doesn't she learn? Here's why: you can't control who you are attracted to, and guess why girls are attracted to jerks. It's because jerks are an example of pure masculinity. They have confidence, so they act like the leader of the pack, even if they aren't. They always just say what they mean, and are generally assholes, so they say things that are difficult for many people to say (an example of confidence). It is true that they are jerks, but when you are attracted to someone, that is that.

Here's the cool thing. You can take the confidence of the jerk and mix it with the niceness of you, and create a dream guy. It is easy to do. I mean, there are probably a billion million guides on the internet on how to do this, so I'm not going to explain it. It is very basic. As for girls, I find that society favours the female side a lot, and so you rarely have much trouble acting like a girl. If you are a tomboy and you are wondering why guys are not attracted to you, it is because men are not attracted to men. I haven't really looked into this much, because I don't think it happens much. Some comments on what makes a woman attractive to a man would be appreciated.

I have to go study, but I do have more to say on this subject if people are interested.