There are a lot of qualities that I really admire in a person, and I have very few of them.  It’s about time I became the person I wish I were.

I need to watch what I say more, and basically just speak less.  I should curse less too.  Obviously, I should keep trying for more discipline and better time-management.  I want to get fit.  Partly to look better naked, but mostly to ensure that I will live healthily into middle and old age.

I will start running, three days a week, to help my heart grow strong and begin the process of making my body permanently healthy. Once that is going strong, I’ll head over to the reuse center to get a bench and some weights. It’s pretty cool because you can get full weight-training sets (complete with barbells and dumbbells) for like $15 there. That will help me look good naked and generally feel better about myself.

I’ll also start eating well. I’ll have to, to start working out, but also I should make an effort to. Again, that will make me feel better about myself. Taking care of myself, etc.

If I do that, I will feel clean and good, which will help me do my schoolwork.

Perhaps I’ll start going to the temple again on Wednesday evenings, as well. That would help me in so many ways. Among other things, it would help me practice right speech. Plus, it would be good for me to go through the humility of relearning the chants.

Breaking up with Nora has made me realise that I’ve really slowed down my attempts to improve myself. I think going out with her made me too secure in who I was. If I had self-esteem issues, that sort of feeling would be helpful, but I don’t, so it takes me in the wrong direction.

There are some things I did very diligently before I started going out with Nora, and when we started dating, I stopped doing them. I don’t think I ever even mentioned them to her. Like going to watch the sunrise from my favorite spot. I used to do that at least once a week, and now I haven’t done it in years. What happened to that?

I need to get back on track. Until now, my post-breakup thoughts had mainly been musings about finding another girlfriend, but I need to put that to rest, and build up a stronger self before I start that. I mean, yeah, time and rebounds, yeah, I know that, and I’m not stupid enough to do anything, but that was mainly what I thought about. I have this hole all of a sudden and I want to fill it—I feel like that’s pretty natural. Don’t worry though, I think I’ll leave it empty for at least a medium while.