Holy cold as hell batman

I just tried running just now and HOLY FUCK

To page this person, press 5

When you call my phone, you will no longer hear that.  Unfortunately, you will still hear “Please leave a message after the tone.  When you are finished recording, hang up, or press 1 for more options.”

Man, removing the page thing was a hassle, and it wasn’t even the bulk of the message.  I had to go to a menu item under administration called “cut through paging” or something and I disabled paging completely.  If only there were a way to disable the message.  That is all I waaaant!

Sausage and Waffle and Fried Chicken Breakfast Lasagne

THE PERFECT FOOD

New phone update

Who knew you could just go to AT&T and just ask for a different phone and they would give you a different one? I changed it out for the much more beautiful Pantech Breeze, which is a phone designed for the elderly and handicapped.

Think about it—this means it must have a great user-interface and good sound quality. These are all I care about!

Anyway my new phone’s current name is Francis McDrunk. If things go well over the next couple weeks I will upgrade it to Francis McPatrick.

My new phone

Based on reviews I've read and the 10 minutes I've spent poking around on the phone, its current name is Fuckface McDrunk.  If it surprises me and does well, I will upgrade its name.  If it surprises me by going lower than my already-low expectations, I will downgrade its name.  Otherwise, go ahead and call me and you will hear me talking on Fuckface McDrunk.

I have to get a new phone :(

I really like this old phone.  It has served me very well and has never failed at the simple, most important task of allowing me to talk to people who are not physically close to me.

Phone, you have never waivered in doing a good job.  You are falling apart, yet your battery is good as ever.  You get wonderful reception all the time (even sometimes in Jesse’s basement).  You do not force me to have a stupid instructional phrase at the end of my voice mail, informing people that they can page me by pressing 5.

Phone, you are practical.  You are everything anyone could want in a phone, and nothing else.  Your internet connection sucks, your camera sucks, your features suck.  This is nice, because it does not distract me from your actual purpose (you are a phone, not a game boy).

You have an antenna that I can pull out.  New phones do not.  I don’t know why—maybe they are obsolete now.  But I still like being able to have control over the reception.

Please give a moment of silence (5–10 seconds) for my wonderful phone.

I will get a new phone later today.  I hope it serves me as well as you have.  Even if it does, I will not forget the two years of quality service that you have given to me.

Yours,
Matt

Web Design!

You know what feels awesome?  Finishing up a page design, throwing it onto browsershots, and finding out that it works perfectly even in internet explorer 5.5!  (and 6.0 and 7.0 and 8.0!)

I mean, it is a very simple design, but I have seen many a simple design fail these browsers.

Yaaaay!

Dieting

So I am looking into dieting.  It is kind of fun because basically nowhere is geared toward the type of dieting I want to do (ie I need to eat more, not less).  I should be getting 2,000–2,500 calories per day depending on how active I am, and normally I think I get about 1,000.  That is very unhealthy!

So yeah, I need to double my food intake somehow.  Meaning I am going to start trying to count calories, etc.

Calorie-counting is hard!  It’s like, I get a big ten burrito.  I don’t know how many calories are in there!  Is there a website somewhere where you can just enter  in amounts of ingrediants, and it gives you nutrition facts?  I mean that would be super.

There are a lot of websites that offer calorie information, but it is based on something someone else filled out.  For example, thedailyplate.com says a burrito is 300 calories. I don’t know if you’ve eaten a big ten burrito, but I would guess that there are well over double that amout in a big ten burrito.

Back to how I am unusual in the way I am doing this, it’s fun to see sites that say, like, “How to cut calories out of such and such.”  They are everywhere.  You never find anything that’s like, “looking for some extra calories?  Put 2 lbs. swiss cheese on top of everything you eat!”

Do people really eat so much that they need to watch their calories?  I am going to have a hard time making sure that I eat enough.  I just find it unfathomable that most people not only eat double what I eat, but probably eat triple what I eat, because they need to cut back on their intake.

The other thing I need to look at is actual nutrition.  I think I am going to try to drink 2 cans of ensure per day, so I won’t need vitamins.  They will be good snacks in between meals.  Also they are 350 calories, so that takes care of one third of my food.  They would also cover half of my protein and have a lot of unsaturated fats.  They also have a lot of sugar, so I shouldn’t eat a bunch of other sweet things.

I think I should make a huge amount of steel cut oats regularly.  Like, in a stock pot.  That way I would only need to heat up however much I wanted whenever I wanted it.  Oats have like, mad fiber.

I also need to eat vegetables.  I think I will eat in the cafeteria a couple times a week, and pile on vegetables when I do.  Otherwise, I just need to start buying vegetables and cooking them.

Anyway I’m rambling at this point, so I’ll cut this off.

Je dois écrire plus en français

C'est vraiment plus difficile pour moi d'écrire en français, et je pense que je n’utilise pas la meilleure grammaire.

J’ai gagné un “B+” en une de mes classes!  Je m'attendais un “C” ou “C+,” donc je suis très heureux à ce moment.  Youpi!

Ma mère a trouvé mon blog!

C'est en peut bizarre, n'est-ce pas?  Je ne sais pas si elle peut lire cette passage (parce-qu'elle est en français, bien-sûr).  Salut maman, si vous lisez ceci!

Nathan Milstein

I dare you to name for me a single violinist who is greater than Nathan Milstein (you can’t).

: (

The first person I ever met on my path through Buddhism is dying, and is almost gone.

: (

Grammar!

Do you know what’s worse than using “who” when you ought to use “whom?”  Using “whom” when you ought to use “who!”  If you don’t know the difference, don’t use “whom” at all, people!

spam

Why is spam worded the way it is (i.e. your manliness is to be d3termined by how many inches r inside your penis).  Do spammers think I will be more likely to respond if they sound like total morons?

Math Homework is harder now

I have one of those splotchy 80-sheet notebooks for math homework. Two years ago, when I did my homework, I could fit 10–15 problems on a single sheet. Now I am fitting one problem on 2–5 sheets of paper.

It’s a good thing I enjoy it.

GNALPRHGLPH

God DAMMIT my life is just FRUSTRATING as HELL right now

I mean things aren’t that bad in general it is just a combination of stress, lack of nourishment, “other,” and then my now-stronger-than-ever reflex to belittle all of my own feelings to the point where I feel like there is a fucking earthquake of anger going on in my belly.  I mean, I actually feel rumbling!

I guess everybody has their own way of beating themselves up when they are angry as hell—I spent a good while quietly banging my head against the wall, and it has given me a splitting headache that I still have.  I hope that’s gone tomorrow.

In a few weeks, I will feel so much better.  I guess that’s something.  But right now I am just angry as FUCK.  I just want to make a huge double-sized piñata of myself and just start completely destroying it with a bat, a golf club, and a shovel.  And when the piñata is unrecogizable I would just look at it and say “HI HOW ARE YOU MATT.  ARE YOU DOING FINE ON THIS FINE DAY.  TODAY IS FINE.  I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING AS MUCH FUN AS I AM.”  Then I guess I would step on any pieces of myself that weren’t completely destroyed.

PHGAGHLGRAPPGHARL! GNLPRNHPLRGNHP!!

I have work in 6 hours, I should see if I’m capable of falling asleep right now.

The Double-Armed Yawn

I was just thinking.  Nobody actually wakes up in the morning and yawns with both arms.  Maybe that is the secret to waking up properly. I hope I remember to try that tomorrow morning.

Wal-Mart

So apparently a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death as eagre shoppers tore the doors off their hinges when the store opened.

It’s actually not the first time something like this has happened on a Black Friday.  I don’t just feel that this is a sad reflection of our society’s lust for the material, but that it is horrible that stores as big as Wal-Mart continue to do nothing about it.

This was forseeable.  It was even forseen.  We aren’t going to change the way our culture is, but we can police crowds a little and enforce lines.  People need to learn to queue up.

“Album by Artist” sorting in iTunes

So there is nothing new about this feature; it has been around for quite a while.  I don’t really understand the idea of not sorting like this, as it is alphabetical by artist, yet it organises albums in track order even if they have multiple artists. But for the longest time it didn’t work with one of my albums (8BP050—an awesome collection of 8-bit).

Of course I had the compilation option ticked. That is the usual issue, but not mine. Well I just figured it out: if you have this issue, make sure that the “Album Artist” field is empty for all the tracks in the album.

Therion is such a good band

I don’t know why it took me this long to get back into them.  I should check out some of their newer albums (there have been at least 4 in the last 4 years).

Job

It looks like Nora’s managed to land herself a nice job.  Yaaaayyy

I didn’t do horribly on my project!

Well, to be fair, yes I did.  But my grade is only a little below average!

Robot protein

Apparently some computer scientists managed to simulate life on a computer, and let it evolve on its own, and it ended up forming life that was very similar to ours (it was based on something similar to protein or something like that—I don’t pretend to know what I’m talking about here).

The implications of this are pretty huge; it implies that all life (i.e. on other planets) evolves in a similar manner to ours.  That said, it is possible that the way it was simulated was based on the setting on Earth all those years ago, in which case never mind the study doesn’t really say much at all.

But hey I think this stuff is pretty cool yeah

Sexiled!

Hey all!  Who of you have ever been sexiled from a dorm room?  Did you know you can also be sexiled from a house?  Even when there is no sex involved?

I know, it is pretty crazy, yet here I am, now versed in the knowledge that my gloves make a better pillow than my scarf.

Haha!  Hahahahaha!  Great fun!

fuck everybody

Ruckus Roboticus

All you fools that haven't listened to the Everlasting Ghettoblasting Gobstopper by Ruckus Roboticus best get on y'all's game now.

Serious. This shit is dope.

Stalin, the ussr, and the Hammer and Sickle

Why was history so nice to them? Stalin murdered tens of millions of his own people (I’ve seen estimates from 20–100 million people, compared with Hitler’s max of 11). The guy killed 8 million Ukrainians in one fucking year.

Plus he was sociopathic and paranoid. Now I’m not saying he was worse than Hitler—but I don’t think he was better either. I don’t think the two should really be compared. They killed different people for different reasons, so talking about who’s worse is a waste of time.

Yet, if somebody has a picture of Stalin on their wall, that is not seen as horrible. In fact, many Russians still consider the guy to be a hero. Imagine if Germans still considered Hitler a hero.

Moving onto the hammer-and-sickle. I view it exactly in the same light as a swastika. Why? Well, as the Nazis clung to the swastika, the Soviets clung to the hammer-and-sickle. Also, the hammer-and-sickle is a symbol that initially represented a very cool image (labour rising up), in the same way that the swastika is an ancient symbol representing change and impermanence. However, the hammer-and-sickle no longer means that, and now represents the ussr (as the swastika represents the Nazi party).

Trying to say the hammer-and-sickle represents the basic ideals of communism/socialism/revolution/etc. is like trying to say that the swastika represents a non-impoverished Germany, or that it is normal to die of the common cold. Perhaps you would be right if it were 85 years ago, but you are most certainly wrong now.

There are at least a few other images that represent revolution and proletariat uprising, just as there are many representing impermanence and change. Use those. If you are wearing a hammer-and-sickle because it is trendy, you are like the people who wear Che Guevara shirts when all they know about the man they got from watching the Motorcycle Diaries. In other words, if you are cool with being an idiot, whatever be my guest.

Back to Stalin, I think I have a good guess now I think about it. Stalin won. Hitler lost. Remember fairy tails? Good always wins and evil always loses. I guess we have these instincts that tell us that because Stalin was a winner, he must have been good, or at least not as bad as Hitler (the loser).

Well I have two words for you: Grow up, asshole.

The worst web page.

My boss and I just had a contest to find the worst web page. I think he won.

Actually the last post was kind of a lie

I am really upset right now. Who knows why! I basically feel ready to explode at any moment. I mean that is how I always feel when I bottle things up, which I guess I know I shouldn't do, but at this point I don't even know why I feel the way I do, or who I would talk to if I did.

Whatever it could be a lot worse. I am a middle class American boy with a good body and I don't have cancer or the HIV.

I guess that's the problem is that I don't really have anybody I feel like I can talk to right now. But I'll get better I always get better!

.

Spam

So apparently some huge spam firm was shut down and email spam has decreased worldwide on average by about 70%. Cool! I mean, I was wondering why I was getting spammed suddenly a lot less.

That said, spammers will probably just move outside of North America where there's less scrutiny, and spam is expected to be back where it was somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I am so excited. Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for a long time. It's like, I eat a bunch of food with my two favorite families. No gifts, none of that bullshit, just basic family time. Awesome.

And lastly, I wrote a lengthy email to the captains at EQ, urging everyone to try to make EQ captains awesome again. Based on the last time I sent an email to all the captains where I opened up a little, I was really worried (I got completely shot down by everybody). But one person already responded really positively. I feel really good right now.

Guess who’s doing well in school!

Actually I should rephrase that.  Guess who will be able to salvage his grades in school, and end up with passing grades and be allowed to continue college!

This.

Guy.

Thisguy.

Yeah school isn't going great but it is a lot better now than ever before.  I am slowly starting to reach my actual potential when it comes to getting things done.  Nowhere near actually there, but you know what, when I am getting work done timely enough that I am doing my best on it, that will be enough.

That will be awesome.  And I am getting there.

Optimism.

I am pro–animal-testing

I bet that within the next half-century, we will gain a complete understanding of our own bodies. Naturally, we will be able to accurately simulate human reactions to anything with a computer. It probably wouldn't even be difficult to add the standard error and the triple-standard error, so as to get a complete view of our race in any circumstance.

Once we figure out how to do that, animal testing would become both too expensive and obsolete. We would stop because it would be stupid.

For now though, we can't do that, and animal testing provides the most accurate estimates we can get. I place human lives above animal lives, and animal testing has saved countless human lives (like, I bet you wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for animal testing—I mean, chances are).

So yeah, animal testing is cruel, and that sucks, but I would rather animals die in labs than humans die of diseases. I think that anybody who disagrees with me does not place human lives above animal lives, and therefore we have nothing to argue about. We just disagree.

If you asked a snake if it valued snakes more than non-snakes, I betcha it would. Difference is, snakes are not in a position to act on that preference. Humans are in that position, etc., etc., qed.

yayyyy

To quote some guy I saw maybe 15 minutes ago, “I am looking at everything and I only see one of shit, which means I am not drunk yet.”

Smily icon

It is amazing to me how you can write a really scathing, mean thing to somebody and then end it with :) or ;P or whatever, and they won't get upset at all.  Do people really get that complacent when they see a smile?  Really?

Also, when I spend a really long time doing statistics, I begin to wonder why we work that way.  It's like, grab a random human, and you can't be sure how he or she will act.  But grab 500, and you know exactly how they will act.

You don't know which ones will do what, but you know how many people will do what.  You hear a lot of people arguing that we are individuals and sociology is bullshit, but damn.  If everybody had truly free will, wouldn't we be less predictable?

Or would we?  Do any of the 3 people who read this believe in free will?  Please explain why you think this way.

Cheers.

Actual “Matt’s Life” update post!

Hey friends!

Welcome to an episode of Matt’s Life!

Actually I shouldn't write this post because I have homework.

Thank you for being a part of today’s episode of Matt’s Life!

Oh my god

How can I live without the gospel version of Правда о мечте? Spoiler: I can't.

Hi Molly

HI MOLLY!

Okay so anyway today I have mixed feelings about my life because I am starting to fall behind in my homework.  I am still on top of everything, but I am less on top of everything than I used to be, and am getting dangerously close to getting into a situation.

But I think I can make it right, so that's good.

That is my blog post for today!

Oh, and I am getting into typesetting.  Check back soon (in two months) and I will post a pdf file that is well-typeset.  Exciting!!

Lonely!

Lonely!

I like this way of looking at it

There is such a thing as a stupid question, and they are the easiest to answer.

Hey Molly!

Want to hang out on Wednesday?

Ellipses

The ellipsis, unlike the dash, should almost always have spaces on either side (and also in between periods if you aren't using a special ellipsis glyph—this . . . vs. this …).  The exception is with parentheses, dashes, and quotes.  Also, when quoting something that already has ellipses in it, you should enclose your ellipses in hard brackets like so: […].

If you leave out the end of a sentence, odd as it looks, you are to put your period a space away from the ellipsis … .  Here's how you start a sentence with an ellipsis.  … And here's the part you didn't leave out.

My own personal taste is that in both of those cases, you may as well put the ellipses in hard brackets, just so it looks more like a single entity, and not just four periods.

Slainte!

An important question of differences

What is the difference between having a good thick moustache, and being a superhero?

If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be here.

The hyphen, en dash, and em dash

So I just learned about the three types of dashes.  In handwriting, it was a sort of unwritten rule about the uses of short, medium, and long dashes.  But then typesetting came into being, and we now have different names for each dash.

The Hyphen

The hyphen is the shortest of the three and is way overused.  It has three functions.  In writing, it combines two words.  In math, it is the minus sign.  It also serves to join a series of numbers, like a phone number.  For example:

Risk-taker.
5-3=2
555-5555
Nineteenth- and twentieth-century.

You can find it on a qwerty keyboard between 0 and =.

The En Dash

The en dash is so named because it is typeset to the width of a lowercase n, longer than the hyphen.  It is designated for a range, but can also be used in place of a hyphen if there is already a hyphen present.  For example:

Non–risk-taker.
Pages 23–48.
July 29–August 12

On a mac, it is the same key as the hyphen, but press option.  On a pc, good luck.

The Em Dash

The em dash is the width of a capital M, about twice as long as the en dash.  It is similar to parentheses most of the time.  Think of it as an interruption.  It is also used in dialogue to indicate an actual interruption.  For example:

On the 12th—the day of the invasion—we will leave before dawn.

“Hey man, all I'm saying is—”
“I don't care what you're saying!”

On a mac, it is once again the hyphen key, but with shift-option.  Once again, on a pc, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Rules

Never put a space next to any kind of dash, with only one exception.  Look at the last hyphen example.  This is called a “hanging hyphen” and is totally cool.  Otherwise, never put spaces around dashes or hyphens.  People who do that are considered to be wrong.

If you are in a situation where you can only use hyphens, use a hyphen in place of an en dash, and use two hyphens in place of an em dash.

Education!

History of &

Did you know that & is from the Latin "et"?  The upper loop is a lower case e, all with the line going down and to the right.  The line going up and right used to always have a horizontal line at the tip.  This went out of fashion in the age of the typewriter, kind of like how $ used to have two lines.

So yeah, that makes me like & a lot more.  Incidentally, did you know that $ was born from US?  The U was written over the S, and people eventually stopped writing the bottom part of the U, making it two vertical lines.  Then that was too hard for typewriters, so it became one vertical line.

MAGIC

Also, Molly!

Molly gets back in a week!  Molly gets back in a week!  Molly gets back in a week!

Is it okay when people type "tixx" instead of "tickets"?

(no)

Heh.

I'll know that I am famous when I get junk messages advertising me naked.  So anyway I got Linux working on my mac.  It is an unofficial PowerPC release of Ubuntu 8.04 (Hardy Heron).  It is unofficial because Ubuntu stopped supporting PowerPC a while ago.  And, since I have a PowerPC computer, I don't have much of a choice there.  I'm glad though—I can use OS 9 programs on my mac, and mactels cannot do that.  I'm going to be very sad when I can't play the Fool's Errand anymore.

That's all I feel like writing about right now.

My newest junk message…

Subject:   :)
From: Current Brackeen

Hey,

Fuck beer! Got sexy girl?
Click here [link excluded because it is probably a virus made for idiots]

ugh

Why do spammers think that I want discounts on "w4tches"?  I mean, do they know anything?  At all?

Dual OSX-Linux project

I am tired of not having Linux and not knowing how to use Linux so I am going to get Linux and install it on my laptop.  This will be more than a little cumbersome, because I will have to back up everything, erase and partition the hard drive (I'll probably give Linux 20GB), clean install macosx, and then linux.

Right now I'm looking most favorably at Ubuntu, but also a little at Yellowdog and Gentoo.  This will take some research, because I don't want to fuck up my computer.

I'll keep you updated, I guess.

Alucard Coat

So the coat is almost finished, I am going to go in tomorrow to try it on to make sure she got it right before she stitches it back up.

Exciting!

Man I don't think I'm going to be able to not wear this coat a lot.

Junk mail

I keep getting a junk message with the subject "what a stupid face you have here lachancem". I am Matt LaChance and I approve this message.

Internet Explorer

I don't understand the idea of Internet Explorer.  It is not standards-compliant, it doesn't even support .png picture transparency, and it is hard as the dickens to code for.

It's like, if you want to make a beautiful website these days, you have to actually make two beautiful websites, where one of them is coded for Internet Explorer and the code itself makes a lot less sense.  If you are reading my blog with Internet Explorer, you yourself and me a favor and download Firefox.  It's faster, it is standards-compliant, and it will let you look at every web page.

I mean, Safari has its flaws but at least it obeys the W3C standards.  As a web designer, Internet Explorer is so frustrating, I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I am seriously considering not letting anyone using IE use wikifriends.  Like if someone tries there will be an error message that tells them I hate them and they should switch browsers.

iClip

Okay, so for a while now I've been thinking to myself, wouldn't it be great if you could copy and paste more than one thing at a time?  I mean, the copy-paste feature has been around longer than I've been alive, so you'd think it would be improved, especially in macs, where they are always trying to improve things like this.

Well I just discovered iClip, and it might become the next Quicksilver in how I use my computer (i.e. I will become a lot faster and start really missing this feature on every other computer I use).  It does cost $30 though, which is a pity.  I mean, if it's as useful as I think it will be, I won't have a problem with paying $30, but I hope it lets you put it on multiple computers, or I'm going to have to choose between my computer at work and at home.  I'm not paying $60.

You crazy cats have fun, bye.

Cane?

Vote!  Should I buy a classy cane?

I am actally serious about this.  You see, I have always wanted a classy cane, but I don't want people to think I am trying to look like a pimp.  I don't want a pimp cane, I want a classy cane. Are they the same thing?  Help me out here.

Nora's back

I should probably be really excited or at least relieved, but I actually just feel normal, like she was never gone.  It's like the last 5 months just disappeared.  Crazy.

Music

I should get back into listening to music.  Music is pretty cool, you know?

It's tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's TRICKY!  tr-tr-tr-tricky tricky trrrrrrrricky!

Relationship! Relationship!

So Nora got back into the States yesterday, and she'll be in Ann Arbor late Sunday night. Last night we had a long conversation and that was cool. I'd say that I can't wait to see her, but I have to wait and I will wait (because I have to). I kind of feel bad in advance for how much I am going to not spend time with friends over the next week or so (sexsexsexsexsexsex).

Also I finally caved into the gaming world and bought a wii. I should set that up in Nora's house, you know for the summer. Oh and I don't think I ever mentioned that Jesse got me a Playstation (an original one) for my birthday. And I just got Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 (hell yeah!). Looks like I will finally start playing video games.

In my math class I am currently getting 100% on everything ever. I am putting a lot of effort into the class, but also the professor is very easy. These are the combinations that lead to perfect scores. It looks like I'm going to have my first good grade in a while. And it's gonna be a very good grade. So heythatsnice.

I've been thinking a lot about my future. Lucky for me, the skills I have (programming, math) are skills that people will pay me a lot of money for. So I don't think money is going to be much of an obstacle once my life gets going. I mean, right now I've got a $15/hour webmastering job on a high school education with no related experience, and part-time. That's really nice for me.

But I want to do good in the world. Remember my plan to unite all countries in peace and end war? I still want to do that. But I don't know how. I don't have any idea where to begin, and as I develop a career and start a family, I'm not going to have time. I'm going to turn into an upper-middle-class dad who puts a couple more upper-middle-class children into the world and eventually retires and plays golf or something.

I feel like I'm at a crossroads of some sort, only instead of having to choose between two available paths, I already know which one I want to choose, but I can't figure out how to get to it. The path I'm on and the path I want to be on do not intersect at a crossroads, not that I can tell. What do I do in this situation?

I feel pretty pessimistic and hopeless about all this. And if you know me, you know that I'm a very optimistic person. I don't like being pessimistic. It doesn't suit me. Not at all.

Thanks for dropping by,
Matt

Regular Expressions!

I just learned regular expressions and successfully replaced every phone number formatted like this:

###-###-####

with the same phone number but formatted like this:

(###) ###-####

and all I had to do was search for (\d\d\d)-(\d\d\d)-(\d\d\d\d) and replace it with ($1) $2-$3 and bang zoom done!

Also to clarify my previous post, I was unconsciously rubbing my eyebrows, and then I noticed all these little hairs on the table, so I kept rubbing my eyebrows and SO MANY HAIRS BECAME ON THE TABLE

my eyebrows

I just picked out like ten billion eyebrow hairs.

No promises

Right now I have the full intention of going back to writing here. It does me good to write for an audience, whether or not I have one, you know? It's more fun than writing in a journal. Plus, Molly reads this, and that is pretty cool.

So I bought a wii a couple days back. It should arrive in the mail any time now. It was a pretty good deal—mario galaxy, wii games, wii sports, carnival games, zelda twilight princess, two wiimotes, two nunchucks, a classic controller, battery packs and a charger for the wiimotes, memory card, and an actual wii, for $400. I'm told that that is at leas $100 less than I would normally pay for such things. So yeah, the Sylvan house now has a wii. I still need to get Brawl, but that can wait. If anything I'll play Brawl at Jesse's house with my memory card.

When I get it probably the first thing I will do is get Mario 64 on the virtual console, because that shit is bumpin'.

I finally got a key at my job, so now I don't need to ask people to let me into places. Dang, they just trust me so much here, it's so different from the cafeteria, where Sue won't even let there be a dedicated captain key.

Yesterday I fell off my bike for the first time I can ever remember doing that. I didn't get hurt, but my jeans did. I've got some sewing to do this weekend! Yeah but anyway I didn't get at all hurt, but it was bizarre. I fell off and was just like, "wait what? Is this real? Is this ... possible?" I was just kind of confused I guess.

Jesse is finally showing me Avatar episodes, and they are very cool. Good show, A+.

I am feeling good about my own life. Less so about the rest of the world, but hey if I like my own life that's something. If everybody genuinely liked their lives, there wouldn't be much for me to dislike about the world, you know?

Ta!
Matt

Updates?

I am waiting until I actually feel good about myself and my life before I go back to updating.  Right now I mostly feel down, and I don't like writing about that.  I'd write about how happy I am, but however easy that is to talk about, I'm just not up for writing it.  But do you remember when this blog was kind of fun (if only for me)?  Let's bring that back.

But I'm not going to lie about how I feel here either, so we'll both have to wait.

Also, Gynelle my email address is lachancem at gmail dot com.

I feel terrible

I just spent the past 30 minutes curled up under my desk, and now I have a headache and I feel terrible.  I might sleep in my closet tonight.  That never makes me feel better when I'm really feeling bad, but at least I actually get to sleep.

By the way, today was really not a good day.  And now I have to swallow it and pretend I'm having fun all day tomorrow for my birthday.  I just do not want to deal with that right now.

I am going to start updating regularly!

(haha fooled you)

Hey, maybe I'll get back into this

I kind of like blogging, so maybe I'll start doing it again.  Why not, you know?

I am experimenting with habit-forming.  Do you know about the ideas that it takes 21 days to make a habit?  I think that's pretty cool.  More on this in 21 days.

Right now, I am a little tired I guess.  Saying that I miss my girlfriend is kind of needless I guess.  In a way, I feel like the best way to handle it is to bottle it up.  I mean, bottling things up is a great way to make the pain go away, and it makes everybody around you think you're fine.  But nothing goes away forever until you deal with it, and I guess it's easier to do it one day at a time now than all at once later.  Sigh.

How are you?  I have letters that I need to write, but that can wait until after my exam on wednesday.  In econ, we're starting on game theory.  I love on that stuff.

But really, how are you?

Matt 

This is just a test

RIAA

Finally!

It's about time!  One of my long-time problems with macs has been that they do not come with an alarm clock program, and every alarm clock on the internet costs money.  Not anymore.

This program offers a lot of control, and even wakes your computer up from being asleep.  It also is a menu-bar program, so it is completely not disruptive.  Pretty cool, pretty great.  Mac users, download this if you do not have an alarm clock (like me)

Best procession of cars

The Schaufelradbagger
The Killdozer
Optimus Prime
The A-Team van
Time travel Delorian
Popemobile
Batmobile
The Magic School Bus
Oscar Meyer Weinermobile
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

What am I missing?

Nine Inch Nails

is pretty good music. I am listening to the album Year Zero, and I'm surprising myself by liking it so much. It's really dissonant, which I like. I also found a bunch of stuff by Desert Planet, who makes video-game-esque music, and it is incredible.

If you never gave them (him?) a listen, try it out. Maybe you'll like it.

Third post

I forgot to add a person on my list.  Myself.  I like myself a lot.  And you know what, if I had to choose between having every person hate me but me liking me, and every person loving me but me hating me, that choice would easily be the former.

No question.  I'm pretty cool, and I know that.  I don't think many other people know that, and I feel bad about that I guess, but hey, at least I have me.

Night

Tonight

You probably missed the post I just made, scroll down and read it first.

Anyway, I don't know what to do with my dislike of alchohol.  I just sighed, just now, in real life.  I just did it two more times because it felt really good.  Anyway, I don't like being around drunk people (I say drunk for lack of a better word to say "people who have had any alchohol", I hate the word tipsy).  When someone drinks, they go from interesting to boring before my eyes.  I suddenly don't want to be around them, because I simply don't have time for such a person.  I could be wasting time on the internet, which is way more fun.

But that isn't why I hate it.  That's just a side reason.  The person I really hate is myself.  I try to ignore it, and I get half-drunk myself, except worse, because I am also sober.  I hate every thing that I do, and I hate every stupid word that my mouth says.  I try to fit in, and I try to have fun.  Where's the harm in that?  I don't know, but there is harm there, somehow.

There's harm because I'm not being myself.  I said a couple posts ago that I pride myself in not conforming to anything.  A far better way to say that is that I pride myself in being myself exactly.  No secrets, no acting, just me.  I go to a job interview and I do a bad job, because I don't give correct answers; I give my answers.

If there is anything that I really hate, it is when I stop being myself, and when people start drinking, I get as drunk as they, laughing and talking.  And I feel disgusting.  I loath every inch of my disgusting body and every noisy breath that esacpes it.

I always leave parties early because I cannot stand myself.  I always leave, depressed and very, very alone.

Just now, I left a party, and now I am depressed, and of course very, very alone.  I want to hang out with Molly, to be honest, because I like her and I know she is herself, but she's having fun with everyone, and a good friend wouldn't try to take her from that.  I'd call Jesse, but I don't think he'd really care.  Maybe we'd have a satisfyingly angry discussion about alchohol, but what good would that do.

Really, I want to hang out with Simon.  The one man that I can hug naturally.  But you know, he's at MSU.

Every time I hear footsteps go by my door, I hope it's someone, anyone to hang with me.  But no one ever really visits me.  People like the food I give them, and I have a nice sound system and comfy futon for watching movies.

Secret after secret, here's another inside look at me.  I don't think anybody really likes me.  Now that isn't true.  There are a few people that I honestly think do genuinely like me.  To list them, Gynelle, Nora, Simon, my parents, and maybe, maybe Jesse.

In case you aren't on that list and think you should be on it, no, that is a complete list.  I actually think that every person not on that list thinks I'm annoying, and puts up with me because I'm not that bad.  Am I wrong?  Probably.  I hope I'm wrong.  But logic can never truly change the way you feel, you know?

I just feel so god damned alone right now.  Most people think I'm doing well, because I say I'm doing well.  Why do I say I'm doing well when I'm not?  To answer your [my] question with another question, would you tell someone you knew didn't care about you that you were depressed?  Fuck no you wouldn't.  No matter what they said, you would know that really, they didn't care.

See, that is how I feel.  Ugh, I feel so emo or whatever.  I mean really, I'm not all that bad or anything and nothing bad is happening to me.  I just feel like a balloon that is way too full of air or helium or whatever, ready to burst.  Moreover, I feel like that balloon has just been bouncing off of pin after pin, somehow never popping.

Does it ever end?  Do I ever get actually happy?  Heh, I guess not.  That's for the perfects.  I just need to learn to be content with how I feel.  I need to sit down and do some god damned suffering.  That would do me some good.  I just sighed two more times.

I'm rereading this post now.  It is amazing what I can learn about myself just from typing and not stopping.  Do I feel better?  No, of course not, not at all.  I am still lonely, and I still think that most of my close friends only put up with me because they don't hate me.

Worst of all, I know that no one is going to knock on my door tonight, but I am going to lay awake waiting for it to happen anyway.

My life is awesome.  Someday, I will truly appreciate how awesome it is, but for now, I will continue to settle for simply knowing that it is awesome.

By the way, if you read this super-long post, and want me to believe that you like me, all you have to do is talk with me.  Have a serious conversation.  Tell me your problems and insecurities.  Tell me what you like, and what you think is pretty cool.  Share yourself with me.  If you didn't like me, you wouldn't do that, and I know it.

Tonight, I think will be the first night in a long time that I cry myself to sleep.  Getting rid of toxins is pretty cool though, so if you feel bad for me, don't.  Dollars to donuts your problems are worse then mine, especially since I'll be getting rid of toxins in a few short minutes!

I just sighed a few more times.  Sighing feels great.  Try it

Why do I have a blog?

I have a blog to give myself a way to talk to myself.  When I say "dear reader," I talk to myself, as I intend this to be read by me, and only by me.  I know that other people read this (Gynelle, Molly, and Nora), but it doesn't really make a difference to me.

I guess what I am saying is that I am writing all this for me.  I don't really assume that any of you care about what is going on in my head, but if you are reading, you probably do (that or you're bored and none of your webcomics are updated yet).  But, even if I had no readers, I would write this exactly as I do, because I don't really care if anybody reads it.

If you read this, know that you are reading exactly what is going on in my head, and nothing more or less.  When I write here, I understand myself better, and learn about who I am.  It is exciting for me.

I hope any readers other than yours truly enjoy this blog, or at least, I hope you end up glad you read it.  As an old answering machine message of mine once said, "it may give you an insight into the mind of a madman."

If you are reading this, you are my friend.  And I love you for caring about me enough to take this time.  I hope that some day you will tell me about your life and your thoughts (I won't read your blog, I don't have time).  I'd ask you, but I'm shy.  Don't you be afraid to ask me either.  Anything is better than a god-damned blog.

Thank you for reading this.  If you are reading right as I post it, be sure to wait a little while, I'm about to write another.  I guess this post is an intermission for me to say thank you.  As I said, I love you, you wonderful person.  Good night.

Pretty cool

Matt Steele just told me that I am someone who doesn't conform to anything at all.  That is pretty much what I go for, so that is pretty much the best compliment I have gotten in a long ass-time.

I feel really good about that.  I am glad people think of me as my own person and not a cookie-cutter anything.  It is times like these that you just feel really good.

I hope I get photoshop soon, so I can go back to comic posts.  More fun for me, more fun for you.

Love,
Matt

Sharpen your teeth, or lay flat.

Welp, here goes nothing.

Parfois j'aimerais disparaître

et actuellement ça est ce que je veux

qu'est-ce que je devrais faire?

En plus, toute mon angoisse existentielle sera en français, parce que personne qui lit ce blog ne comprend le français.

Je t'embrasse très fort,
Matt

happy new year

I hope my computer doesn't crash when it changes to 2008, like all those computers back in 2000

Christian values

So many Christian values are good. So many of them! Yet they pollute themselves with terrible ones at the same time? Why?

I went to Catholic mass today, as always when my Grandma is over on a Sunday. The reading today was Ephesians something, and here is the wisdom that it had to offer:

Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.

This makes me angry. Yes I know it is in the bible and the bible is kept intact to preserve tradition (actually, even the Torah we know today is less than 2000 years old, but most people don't know that, so never mind). So keep the bible intact! Whatever! But why do we read passages like this DURING CHURCH, when there are impressionable children all over the place? Why do we read them EVER?

My dad told me that Christians like to put a modern spin on things like this. So, "Wives should be subordinate to their husbands" actually means "Wives should obey their own inner nature." Sorry dad, and sorry to any proponents of this idea, but "Wives should be subordinate to their husbands" is plain English, and is perfectly clear in meaning. If the bible meant your translation, why doesn't it say that, and much more importantly, WHY DON'T YOU READ THAT IN CHURCH?

Because every wife, husband, and child in church today heard the "un-translated" version, without the benefit of your modern take.

Christianity has a lot of good points, and believes in a lot of good things. But it is so polluted by bad things. Why is it this way? I once heard someone argue that this is true of all religions, and that is bullshit. It is not true of Buddhism, or Jainism, to name a couple. If a religion is attempting to create a moral standard, it should be perfect. Humans cannot be perfect, but religions can, so by God let's make our religions perfect.

Ugh. Go back and reread today's reading. And people wonder why our society is still sexist. I know I attack Christianity a lot, but that doesn't make me wrong.

Once I get Photoshop back, I'll go back to comic posts.

3 More Days

Wish me luck

Meditating

So, lately I've been doing a lot of something like meditating. I've been separating myself from my viewpoint, and watching the world as it is. Here are my thoughts.

The "real world" as it were is hard to describe to someone who hasn't seen it. I'll do my best. Nobody is ever really there. For example, you are at your computer, perhaps in your house. Yet, you don't feel like you're in your house, and whether or not you're by your computer means little to you. You've probably got all kinds of crazy shit going on in your life. But really, what is it?

Assuming you're a student, you've got exams to study for and papers to write. What are those? The exams haven't even been printed yet, so what are they? Your papers are concepts in one human's (your) head. Or, if you're ahead of the game (I just lost the game, and so did you), it is taking up a few kilobytes on a hard disk inside your computer.

What does the paper have to do with anything? Imagine you have nothing to do with any of this now. You're a rock, on one of the moons off of Mars. Now what do these exams and papers mean to you? What about the life you're trying to build? Yeah, I guess the point is that it seems insignificant, like people say.

But I don't like that word. Insignificant implies that it is small compared to the universe. When I do this, it seems completely fake. There is no meaning behind the paper or the exam. How I do in college has no effect. If I succeed in uniting the planet, and saving the human race, it wouldn't carry any meaning.

With Physics, we still don't completely understand the way objects move. There are a few known forces of attraction (magnetism, gravity, etc), and the one we understand the least is gravity. But that applies mainly to rocks. Sometimes these rocks get very very hot, and they sometimes explode with such extremity that very heavy elements like gold are created, but they are only rocks.

Now, us, we are humans, and that makes us more important (namely because we are us, and we are not rocks). How do we move? Rocks move very predictably, following laws of physics. We move of our own accord, given stored-up energy that we collect and save. What is this energy? Why does it let us move, but not rocks? How come we can store it, but rocks can't? What does it mean to be conscious?

We are made up of the same neutrons, protons, and electrons as any rock in the universe, as any star out there. Yet we are conscious. How does that make us different? How is a dead body different from a living one?

When a teacher walks into a classroom, and informs the class that they are to walk into the hall, and they do, what just happened? A group of rocks were all sitting still in a room, and suddenly at the same time, they all stopped sitting and neatly filed out of the room, after some sound-waves hit them.

The answer isn't the professor, or the students. It isn't the sound-waves, or the sounds they made. It is the meaning behind the sounds the professor made. But what is that meaning? Where is it? The professor is there. The students are there. The sound is there. All that is real. The meaning is not. Yet, this nonexistent meaning was enough to drive every single person out of that room.

What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On.

I feel like I've stumbled on something important, but look at me. I'm hitting a bunch of buttons on a laptop, and staring at the screen in front of me. You're staring at a different screen, yet going through the same thought process as I am.

I am not naïve enough to ask what it all means. None of you can answer that question, no one has ever answered that question (save the many cop-outs). Here is how I feel:

I want to know what it feels like to be a violin. Violins are pieces of wood, with a perpendicular piece of unattached wood, held in place by several strings of metal. They are pulled so tight that there are actually thousands of pounds of pressure on the smaller piece of wood (the bridge). A violin never gets a break. People don't take all the strings off for a while to let the violin rest. That is actually a bad idea, because the sound-post could fall out.

So imagine being a violin. How about one of those really old beautiful violins. I doubt they have ever been given a break. They have gone centuries under almost constant pressure from their strings. How does that feel? It doesn't, of course. Violins aren't alive. But what does that mean? When wood bends and snaps under pressure, is it not in agony?

I don't get it. I guess it doesn't matter. I guess nothing matters, and that's the point. But we all know that isn't true. I have feelings. I have feelings enough to have written this long damn post. I want to know what it's all about. "Nothing" isn't enough. I always feel like I am so close to getting it, but I'm never there. It is like when someone asks you the name of an actor, and their name is forever on the tip of your tongue.

I hate that feeling. Everyone hates that feeling. Right now, let me step forward and talk about me. I don't like my life right now. I am not doing well, I am not going to be doing well, my life feels unfulfilling, and I am very unhappy. I am stressed to the point of agony, and thus feel a lot of sympathy for my violin. I feel like we have something in common.

I hate my life right now. That sounds depressing, but I'm not depressed. I very rationally hate what my has become, and what it will be, at least for the next few years. I hate knowing the sacrifices people have made for me to become this way, so I can't stop, I have to keep going, because they matter more than I do.

So, for any (the two) of you who have been loyally checking up on this blog, wondering if I'll post again, that is how I feel. I feel dead. I feel old. I feel tired. I feel bored. I am done playing this game, but the game isn't over. I want to leave this party, but I promised I'd stay for several more hours. I'm ready to go, but I've nowhere to go but where I am, and I don't like where I am. Either I stay where I am, or I leave, alone and without a destination.

The choice is obvious. (this is long, if you get to this point, let me know and I'll give you candy for actually reading this far) I'll stay put, and do what I have to. My pain doesn't matter. It isn't real. My body isn't in pain (although it is hungry). Why does it matter? School isn't real. None of this is real. It is all this elaborate fantasy that has been developed over aeons. It is all a game, and like I said, I'm bored and I'm done playing. I know how the movie will end, and that spoils the movie. I want to go home, only there's no such thing.

What should I do? I know what I will do: I'll keep playing. I'll keep playing until I die. I'll finish school, maybe even do well. I'll unite the world in peace, or, failing that, become a successful businessman. Or maybe a failure of a businessman? Who knows, it is so exciting. Mystery. Drama. Suspense. Will I succeed. Yeah this movie sucks.

Anyway, I'll have kids, eventually have enough money to comfortably retire, and I'll be too old to really enjoy myself, and I'll have doomed my children to the same life.

That is what I will do. Is it what I should do?

Love,
Matt

Follow up on AllofMP3

So Allofmp3 is gone. Sad? WRONG!

Yeah so apparently when they got sued they put up a new site that is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from Allofmp3 (for example, it has a different colour scheme and a different company name). THE ONLY THING that is similar is that you can log in with your Allofmp3 account and use your Allofmp3 account balance.

:D

All of mp3!!

Back in July, allofmp3.com was finally sued by the music industry, and went offline, but apparently they won the court case and will go back online any time now, I am so happy!

For more info, here is an article from the Independent.

Curious.

I have not updated this for months. Does anybody click the link to this blog just in case anymore? Or is my blog dead? I guess I am asking for a "sound off" to see if anybody is still here. Anybody?

Anyway, I will probably start updating here more come 2008, and not until then.

Love,
Matt

Dangit Apple, dangit

Apple is releasing the next version of its OS X, and it isn't very good. I just went through the new features and gave them prices according to what I would pay for shareware that would accomplish the same thing:

$0 — The new desktop is prettier. I would download a free thing that did this, but I would not pay for it.
$0 — The new finder looks like all the new features I didn't like about iTunes.
$15 — Quick Look looks like a really cool idea. I would not pay $20 for it.
$10 — Time Machine also looks neat, but I doubt I'd use it much, and it isn't worth more than $10 to me.
$0 — Spaces is already a free program that I could (and purposely don't) have.
$10 — The new Apple Mail has the notes and to do lists, and the improved address book. Total, that is $10 to me.
$0 — I do not use iChat because I do not talk to people online, plus I do not have a webcam.
$0 — iCal would be cool, but I use Google Calendar, making it useless to me.
$0 — The "new" dashboard is not really improved.
$0 — I don't care about Safari (plus I can get it free whether or not I get Leopard).
$0 — I don't have a Mactel, so Boot Camp means nothing to me.
$0 — Parental Controls, Photo Booth, Front Row, DVD Player, handicapped stuff and Automator still mean nothing to me, and I do not want to pay for anything that they do.
$5 — To be fair, I will assume there are $5 worth of something cool that is not advertised.


The price to upgrade is $130. This is $90 more than I am willing to pay. If you pay me $10, I will not take $100 out of my bank and then burn it. The problem is that as time goes on, more and more stuff will not be available on OS 10.4, and I am going to be forced to get 10.5 for that reason.

The question is, is that inconvenience worth $90 to me? The answer is no, it is not worth it. I am just annoyed that the inconvenience will be there at all. I would be happy to pay $40 for 10.5. Hell, I would even pay $50. But I would not pay $60, let alone $130. Fuck you, Apple.

so excited

I am so excited

Grrr

Man I hate it when my mom is in a bad mood because it spreads through the house and they both take it out on either me or my brother. And right now my brother isn't home. Man I don't want to be in my house right now, but all my friends are with their families so I've nowhere to go. Blegh.

Oh man!

So here I was, all about to type a normal dang old blog entry, when I remembered my promise from long ago.


The past few days have been pretty uneventful, actually.


But I have been doing Bagua and a little bit of psychology reading.


My last psych experiment is tomorrow, and then I never have to do another psych experiment ever again, which is pretty great.


Otherwise, I've mainly been hanging out with friends and going to Washtenaw Dairy. I mainly hang out with Jesse, but also did hang out with Kevin Buchman and Jake L-P. Tomorrow I might hang out with an elementary school friend of mine named Joshua Shelvin.


I really really really miss my girlfriend right now, and have been missing her basically since she got on the bus to NYC. It is occurring to me more and more that I would completely suck at long-distance relationships. Nora, I miss you!


She gets back on Friday, so woohoo for Friday.


Anyway, I am done with this blogging, so see you later everybody!

The joys of being too skinny

I just spent the last 5-10 minutes lifting up my shoulders and putting my hands underneath my collarbone, and now my back hurts a little.

: (

ANGST

Well, not really angst at all. I'm not depressed, just scared. Okay, let's see:

I am currently taking Psychology as a summer class. I hope to get an A, because that will help get me into the Organizational Studies programme here at UM. I want to be in that program so that I can learn to run an organization, and than create an organization that will take over the world and unite it in peace, under a really cool government that I would love to talk about some other time.

Meanwhile, did you guys know that in the next 20-30 years, a lot of the human race is going to die out because most of the world will be flooded? (The heat of global warming causes water to expand, etc etc.) After that, we will be covered in a variety of crazy weird weather that we have never had to face before, which will kill off even more of us. Also, on top of that, very very soon there is going to be a huge outbreak of the flu that will kill off a lot of us right away.

Now, we still can do something about this as it is not too late yet. And it is fortunately becomming more mainstream to care about global warming. But if we do escape global warming, in the next 15 years, thousand-dollar computers will be smarter than humans in every way (yes, every way—we actually have creative computers already). Will there be any point in me even being here?

The computer thing doesn't worry me so much because it is too hard to imagine what will happen, but the global warming thing? Scary.

Not because of all the death. No, if it were immanent, I would just be doing all I could to enjoy my last years alive. I mean, death is immanent in general, so what? But I am scared because I have no idea what will happen. Will we fix it just in time? I don't know. I can't even guess. I don't mind not knowing, but I hate not being able to guess.

Ten years ago, I wanted to be a math teacher. I didn't think I'd have to deal with any of this. I didn't even know it was a problem.

Eight years ago, it was 1999 and someone said, "Hey, waitaminute, what about all the computers set with two-digit years?" One year ahead of time. Sure, it ended up not being a problem, but it could have been, and frankly, I find it terrifying that it can take intelligent humans to notice something so potentially dangerous.

I'm not depressed. I'm not angry. I maybe feel a little gypped. But I definitely am scared. Not terrified, just scared. I don't like not knowing. Well, I'm okay with not knowing, but I hate being completely clueless.

And what am I supposed to do? Go to protests? Vote? Switch my major to Environmental Studies? Cover my eyes and continue to rape the planet like there's no tomorrow? Open my eyes and try to enjoy myself as best I can, knowing there's nothing I can do? Is there something I can do?

I'm scared. I know I should try to enjoy myself, because I really don't want to die regretting not enjoying myself, however I die. I'm not afraid of dying, but I'm afraid of not knowing whether or not I will have children, and if I do, whether they will live to be older than 10.

That's scary. I'm scared. I have good reason to be scared. I feel like a rat that has been released into the centre of a room with no walls or cover in sight. I feel like I need to do something, but nothing I do will change the situation I am in.

I'm not at a loss for what to do, I'm just scared. Very, very, very scared.

And it's fucking scary.

TRAIN OF THOUGHT

For a couple seconds I started thinking that I probably annoy my readers by rarely posting, but then I remembered that I only have two (2) readers, and they don't care.

Anyway, here is all the smut I can write while I wait for Nora to call me:

"I'm home," called Dodger, real name Dan Dunker, nickname Dodger. He got that nickname while he was fighting in the great war, and he has never been the same since then.

Heather was wearing the clothes that Dodger liked it when she wore them. She was wearing the special-shirt, and a skirt. Dodger knew that they would be making a miracle very soon.

"I am glad that you are home, Dodger," said Heather to Dodger. "I hope you did not have a hard day, but if you did, I am here to make it become easy."

Dodger knew what that meant.

***TIME LAPSE TO THE SEX***

Dodger held Heather's buttocks like a Greek God would hold two rocks. At this point, there were no problems in the world.* Heather moaned with sexual delight as Dodger did that thing he does with his tongue. The only thing he could think right now was how happy he was (he was very happy because he was having sex).

After ten, maybe eleven minutes of making out, it was time for the miracle. Dodger pulled out his penis. His penis was very big because of the war, and that was how Heather liked it (big). She unbuttoned his shirt (the only piece of clothing left except for Heather's necklace, which belonged to her grandmother long ago), looking at his broad muscular chest, with a big scar from the war (barbed wire).

OKAY I'M DONE GOODBYE
________
*There were problems, actually, but they could not think of any. It would have been better for me to say "At this point, there were problems in the world"

Where am I according to Dante?

I personally think I would likelier be in a flaming tomb with the heretics in the sixth circle in the city of Dis, but I guess I am mainly virtuous enough that this quiz deemed me a virtuous pagan instead. If all this is true and this is a good quiz, I hope it is right because living in Elysium for eternity would be fucking sweet.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent me to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how I matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

64 People

I need to come up with 64 civilizations each with a strength and a fatal weakness. So I need to come up with 64 strengths/weaknesses. Hm. I guess I could come up with 8 things for a civilization to be weak or strong in, and I could mix and match, making 64. That would make 8 hypocritical societies, among other things, which would be pretty cool. And it would be pretty easy to do this with the 8 trigrams, and figure out hexagrams that way.

And so my book begins.

My new mission

For the rest of my life, I will do my best to return all the pennies on the ground to their rightful places in the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny jars of small stores.

Smut

This is the best I can do.

Autumn!

I'll be living in 337 Anderson, and will have this schedule. I have two exams tomorrow, so that's all for now, friends!

One thing that really does piss me off

"I didn't want to go to the party, so I didn't go."

"You didn't want to? That is so laaaaaame."

Fucker, I didn't want to go to the party. You were drunk. You did not notice that I was not there.

!

I made a really good decision tonight.

FYI

I am going to interrupt the silence of my blog by letting you all know that City of God is a really fucking awesome movie. Everybody should see it. If you have seen it, cool, you agree with me. If you haven't, it is time you did your duty. Good night.

Update

I really love my girlfriend, and my friends are pretty great.

I have a lot of schoolwork, I got promoted at work, and I manage to have some fun too.

The Libertines are still really good. All in all, I am having a pretty great life.

Looking forward to Friday.

That's pretty much it.

Matt

New music find

The Libertines. It's the first time in a while that I have listened to music, wanted to listen to something else, but not changed because I was really enjoying what I was hearing. Not bad, not bad at all.